Turning 25 Eh?

This is gonna be a good bit of reminiscing.

When I was eighteen and had just begun to formulate the general idea of what the End Game series would become, I remember thinking through what I hoped to do by the time I turned thirty. I had just read Eragon by Christopher Paolini and, though I felt a good chunk of his book was a rehashing of Tolkien, I still felt like somehow I too could be empowered to write a book and become published before I was thirty. In fact, I had this little daydream that was all about how I would become a published author before I turned twenty-five. I turn twenty-five on Friday.

Obviously, that little daydream didn't come true.

Although I don't feel like I'm approaching my birthday. I know I'm approaching a celebration because I'm going to New York state to spend three days with a good chunk of my college friends. But do I feel like a doomsday-esque mile marker is on the horizon? Nope. Can't say that I do.

At the same time, I feel as though I've let myself down. I had such great aspirations when I was nineteen and wrote the first (awful), draft of Genesis. I thought I'd at least have the first book published by this point and that there would be great anticipation for the following books. Now, reality has a way of laying things out differently then we think is best. I've found that these instances are the times when I need to be content with what's happening because in the end, whatever is around the corner is better than what I originally had planned.

Roughly every week (I'm gonna be taking this week off 'cause I'm getting myself ready for my dog and will be spending the latter half of the week in New York state), I've been sending 2-3 queries out to agents. Naturally, I haven't heard back from any of them. It makes me wonder if perhaps I've done something faulty in the process of sending the query. But getting caught in the "what ifs" never helps me in the slightest. So I try to stop myself as quickly as possible to keep from wandering down that rabbit hole.

So I'm gonna embrace the age of twenty-five. It's just another day. Just another year I happened to experience. It was a wild year, that's for sure. But I'm grateful for all that it's offered. The ups and the downs. 'Cause all along the way I've been learning.

Adventure well everyone! This'll probably be the only post I do. Especially come Wednesday. I'm rather excited for the weekend.

Currently Editing: Unity

Currently Listening to: "When Can I See You Again?" by Owl City

Someone Write This For Me!

Seriously, someone just write my query letter for me.

Selling myself has never been my strong suit. I'll sell my books till kingdom come, but the moment someone then begins to ask about my qualifications and how I'm fitted to write, I become a stammering mess. Even just writing it out for the query has been rough. I think I've utilized the backspace far more frequently then I've ever anticipated.

After all this time, I thought for sure that writing a one page query letter would be easy as pie. It's basically End Game: Condensed. Like the back of a book cover. A brief synopsis and a smigin about yourself, the author.

Why does anyone want to know about me in the first place?

I want to write because I've got this silly epic story in my head, not 'cause I want people to care about me. If I wanted attention, I would have done like, music or something. God knows I can sing (when I want to). So why does anyone need to know about me? I'm just the one splattering words against a screen and then holding it up yelling, "I MAED DIS."

Yes, I did just become slightly stupid. Because that's how I feel sometimes. Sometimes I feel like the otter in that meme, screaming to the world, "LOOK. Now do something with it please!" Only I don't think otters say please.

In other news, my sister graduates from college on Saturday.

Epic adventuring to all! And to all a good night!

Currently Reading: Brisinger by Christopher Paolini
Currently Listening to: "Paperman" by Christope Beck

Not My Strong Suit

I'm not so good at writing about myself.

I get hung up on the formality of it. Especially in the confines of something as important as a query letter. That's right, I'm working on a one-page document that I'll probably agonize over more than anything I've ever written. All 'cause this is my first impression. This is the only shot I get at these agents.

One page. Three paragraphs. That's all I've got to get this right. To snag the right agent's attention. Thank God I know people who are good at marketing, well, anything. I imagine that when I get an offer from a publishing house, I'm going to hire a few of my coworkers to be my publicists. Kid you not - I think some of them could sell anything to anyone.

So as I sit on my computer, going over and over my query while "Idumea" plays on repeat, I just wonder if it's worth it. Sure, I know whenever End Game hits the world and I market it properly, it's gonna get devoured. I know there's little out there like it. That's not me trying to be arrogant. The story God gave me is awesome. The world just doesn't know that yet.

In the past three weeks, two of my closest friends finished all five books of the End Game thread. They both offered resounding enthusiasm on how I chose to end the series. I can't even properly describe how great it is to have feedback from three very different people and to have them all come around and very honestly tell me what they did and didn't like. (An aside, but I do have awesome friends. They're so brutally honest with me that I can't help but trust them when they tell me things like, "I loved your books.")

Despite me literally trying to avoid writing the query (I just don't like how complicated this formula is! I always feel like a robot when I'm writing the third paragraph about myself), I've had nothing but encouragement to push forward. Three customers have asked me what I write and talked with me about what I do outside of work and two of my friends have attacked me - in a good way - about how they feel about my books.

I kind of have no choice.

I'll sleep on my query for tonight. I always see things better with fresh eyes. So tonight I'll continue to slowly chisel away at one of the histories and then tomorrow I'll hack at my query again. Then I'll go to work, talk nonprofit, then I'll go back to hacking at my query. Then I'll write up some website stuff, then I'll go to work, then I'll work some postcard design, then I'll attack my query, then I'll have a day off and apparently go to Asher's so my mom's life is complete.

Happy adventuring everyone!

Currently Writing: 1/8 of Zero Point
Currently Listening to: "Idumea" by the Millikin University Choir

One More Job

I work full-time hours at Staples. I'm not technically full time and don't reap the benefits of that, but I tend to work upwards of 35 hours a week. That's the job I get paid for. Then there's the writing. That's the job I try to do when I have time and energy after a long day and am attempting to fulfill at the moment.

Now I've signed up for a third job. It started as this epic conversation last week with a few coworkers while we were out to dinner. Somehow we got onto the topic of changing the world and being part of a group. The next day, one of my coworkers called me and started asking me about this nonprofit he's got in mind. Five days later we've bought the website, made the Facebook and LinkedIn pages, set up our emails and are beginning to figure out how much all of this will cost.

As I sit here attempting to collaborate and make a logo (which I'm really not that good at, by the way), I kind of want to kick myself. Why do I do these things? As if I didn't have enough time, right? The plus side is, this is forcing me to make time for my book stuff.

Take today for instance. I've got off work and put my car at the shop so its oil could be changed. That leaves me stuck at home with nothing more to do than work on my query letter and research agents. So far it's been an agonizing process and according to all the recommendations I'm finding from agents & other authors, I should work on perfecting my query for the next month. Rewrite, rewrite, rewrite. Over and over and over again.

So this all boils down to me figuring out my schedule and my dreams. Making them coexist together whether they like it or not. There is a rather nice piece to this puzzle, and that's the fact that I work with the two people that are heading up this nonprofit with me. Naturally that means that when we're at work, half of our time is spent talking about our ideas for getting this thing off the ground.

Now if only I could get this logo right...

Until we're off the ground, I'm not going to release the link or name of the nonprofit. Just know that it's out there and that we're for serious. Can't tell us 20-somethings to just wallow in our college debt. No sir. We're gonna change some lives if it kills us.

Apparently snow storm Nemo is coming my way. First Gandalf, then Khan. I've gotta say, these have got to be the best storm names ever. Of all time.

Happy adventuring everyone!

Currently [re]Writing: Genesis
Currently Listening to: "Hope Will Lead Us On" by Barlowgirl

Day 3

Today I pitched to two editors. Yesterday, I pitched one.

They all want the first 50 pages of my book.

Not only did I discover that I'm the youngest person at this conference, but I'm also only one of two that has had all three editors request a part of our manuscript. The guy in charge of our group thinks my book is highly sellable after I gave him a little more information regarding the series and was able to - thank God for this! - keep Tilion.

Aside from some name changes that I'm kind of okay with, everything is the same. My characters are all in place, the setting is fine, and best of all, I haven't had to bastardize my story for the sake of the greedy market. (Yes, I did just say 'bastardize'. No, it isn't a curse. It's a proper use of the word in its definition.) Although I'm sure to get some push-back on my established back story - because it's Biblical - I think that I'll be able to spin it well enough that if and when my book is published through one of these houses, they won't scream and run and hide.

That's my hope anyway.

So this conference has been highly helpful for me. Not only has it validated that my book is highly marketable, but it also has given me a solid pitch, more confidence in the writing world, and best of all, I now have absolute faith in God that He's working in me the way He needs. Despite my occasional kicking and screaming.

To all my fellow aspiring writers, I would recommend you take the opportunities you have to branch out and stretch yourself. I know it isn't easy. I nearly got sick the first day because of my nerves. But, once you survive it (and you will), you will be wiser, stronger and far more confident and prepared for the task you have placed in front of you.

You have only begun your journey.

Happy adventuring :)

Currently Writing: Nada. The plan? After New Years, I attack Genesis and ensure it's battle ready and then I send it off to agents. 'Cause saying in your query that you've already got houses biting for it will make me a shining coin among world beaten pennies.

Currently Reading: Brisinger by Christopher Paolini

Currently Listening to: "We Three Kings" by Stephen Curtis Chapman

Day 1

Well, today I not only managed to navigate New York City, but I also made it to the conference with a half hour to spare, didn't have to eat lunch alone (making friends is good!), made it onto the correct train to get me back to my Uncle and Aunt's house safely, and did not explode from nerves as I pitched my book to my fellow workshoppers.

That's where the good news ends.

Today was all about laying out ground work for our pitches. Basically, we sat in a room, read our pitches one at a time and our group leader (a seasoned veteran of the publishing world), tried to help us craft it in the best possible way to make the pitch - and therefore the book - its most sellable. A lot of what he said was good to learn and even better to have validated.

However, he basically wants me to completely write a different story than what I've got. He thinks the concept of having another world in the mix is too confusing, he wants my character to not be a teenager, and he wants it somewhere exotic. Not America.

None of those changes sit right with me.

Is that stubbornness? I don't think so. I guess since I think God gave me this story, it doesn't make any sense to completely obliterate the story and tell something completely different. I mean, if I get rid of Tilion, everything I love about the story and the characters pretty much is thrown out the window. I can't have Grovix that way and I can't do any of the things I already have written out. That's not the end of the world, but we're talking about an entirely different story. A story that, to me, isn't End Game.

I might just be one of those authors that refuses to make changes. But, at the same time, nothing about those changes sit right with me. Also, I'm not in this business to make money. I get that my book is a hard sell. A lot happens in it and I require an intelligent audience. I require an audience of inquiring minds and curious intellect.

Basically, I don't know what to do. And I imagine that despite my exhaustion, I'm not going to be getting much sleep tonight.

Don't hold your breath people. This ride is gonna be a long one.

Currently Reading: Brisinger by Christopher Paolini
Currently Listening to: "10,000 Reasons" by Matt Redman

Curse My Short Attention Span!

I had such high hopes for this evening.

First off, I'm sick (again?! Why does this keep happening?!). And not just like, "*cough cough* now I'm all better" sort of sick. I'm losing my voice. One of my managers kept making fun of my inability to speak today and a few of my coworkers were laughing at how I could totally do a Batman impression just by talking. Then I made my brother nearly die of laughter when I tried to go falsetto and basically squeaked like a chipmunk.

Anyway, because of this, I'm lethargic. All I wanted to do today was watch Stargate and let my brain ooze. I can't do that. I'm a little behind on my writing and I still have around 30,000 words left to hammer out of Unity. Assuming Unity is around 120,000 words long when it's all said and done. That's just my rough estimate. It might wind up being more or less. Whatever. So long as the story's told properly.

Due to my lack of discipline today, I pretty much have had no control over my normally steadfast ability to just sit down and write. I kid you  not. I've just spent two hours playing around in Photoshop trying to make up a mock cover of Unity.

'Cause I have time for this.

NOT. I have an event coming up in like, two weeks to promote Genesis (at my old elementary school no less!), the giveaway on Goodreads ends in a few days, and I have the Writer's Conference in New York to prepare for. And I want to finish the Unity rewrite. AND I'm getting a hankering for trying to nail down more histories for Zero Point.

Sometimes, I think I try to tackle too much at any given time.

As though this all isn't crazy enough, today's Thanksgiving. Which means tomorrow is Black Friday. Which means Christmas is in like, doomsday looming distance. Goodness gracious, what kind of pill have I decided I'll swallow? One of my friends was right, I am an overachiever. But only in this area of my life.

I wonder what that says about me...

Thankfulness:
I'm incredibly thankful for a myriad of things. My family, my friends, my job, my creativity, my story, my characters, my God who controls all things and holds them all in His hands, my freedom (however long it may last), my car, and a trillion other things. I'm grateful for the fact that I can celebrate my Savior's birth and that I can have the financial ability to buy my family members and friends something nice. I'm blessed to know that there are people who love me, albeit far away, but they love me none the less. That somewhere out there, regardless of where I go and what I do, I can always return home and have someone who understands who I am and what I feel. I'm so far beyond thankful for the chance I have to give my characters life, to tell their story, and to pursue my dreams AND have the support of friends and family behind it. Not everyone is so lucky and somehow, God gifted me a bunch of different people who provide nonstop encouragement in all I do.

Be thankful everyone. And have a happy adventure this Thanksgiving.

Currently [re]Writing: Unity
Currently Reading: Hood by Stephen Lawhead
Currently Listening to: Music from Disney's Robin Hood playing over and over in my head. Don't ask me why. It just is.

P.S. - I feel like I need to explain why it takes me months to read easy books. It's cause I only read when I'm at work. When I'm home, I'm writing or creating. I love reading, I really do. I have a bookcase that proves that. But I don't give myself the free time to dive into a story. I did it with Hunger Games and was sorely disappointed. So I think now, I'm super wary to devote prime writing time to someone else's story. Although Lawhead's Hood has been good so far.

Outside the Comfort Zone

So today I was checking my emails (because I have like, four), and discovered I've been accepted to register for a writer's conference in New York City. It's a pretty hardcore one. It's basically four days of me sitting in front of editors and pitching my book.

When I applied for the registration (that's how selective this is: I had to apply to be allowed to register), I didn't expect to make the cut. For one reason or another, I thought I wouldn't be good enough. Either my age or inexperience or whatever was going to limit me in the mind of whomever was choosing the participants this year.

I'm freaked out of my mind! Because I didn't expect to make the cut, I didn't prepare at all. I have about a month, but still. This is the kind of nervousness that chews at my insides and makes me quiver when no one's looking. This isn't where you go to get praise or to get a pat on the back. This sort of conference is where you go and have editors of high end houses sit down and say, "Why should I back your book?"

Now I'm busy mapping out my money and seeing if I can spare $600 for the four day excursion. It's in mid December too, so getting the time off of work will be...tricky. I'll probably have to sacrifice a lot to get the time off, especially since I need a huge chunk of Christmas off 'cause my family's going to Florida.

I have a lot of praying to do to determine if this is the right step to take. I have a few days to figure this out and determine if I can swing the conference. A part of me really wants to do this. The scared child part of me wants to run away screaming.

But I guess this is how it is. I need to have confidence in my book and in my characters. Being published through an actual house (HOLY WOW), would be amazing. I mean...who knows what might happen.

Sometimes, I feel like my life is the one scene in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, where Indy needs to step into the unknown (literally), before he can find the Holy Grail. This is one of those times where I have no clue if there's a rock ledge to stand on, but I guess I'll step out anyway.

The beauty is, even if I fall, God will catch me. That's always a comfort. Kinda makes me wonder why I shouldn't just take the step. Can't lose anything, right?

Happy adventuring everyone!

Currently [re]Writing: Unity
Currently Reading: Hood by Stephen Lawhead
Currently Listening to: "Ascencia" by Jo Blankenburg

P.S. - You would think I had been searching for the Holy Grail this afternoon. All I wanted was my Chocolate Mocha coffee made by Gevalia. And every store I went to that had power carried every other variety they made, but not mine! I had to settle on something that cost like, four dollars more than I was expecting to spend. This Godiva Chocolate Truffle had better be worth it.

Unsuspecting Answers

Next month, my hometown is throwing what they call the "Gallery of the Arts". It's basically this huge gathering of artists to showcase what they do and sell some of what they make. It mostly attracts painters and photographers, but crafters show up too and you get a pretty wide array of talent. I participated years ago as a Junior artist and actually won an award (shocking!).

All of this to say: they've never had a writer. So my parents and I were talking about it a few nights ago and decided to look into it. Upon asking the director of the program about it, they gladly welcomed the written word into the fold, so long as I put down on the application a craft or artistic genre to technically fall into. But they'll let me sell my book there.

The gathering tends to attract a good deal of foot traffic. It's a little crazy, but I'm going to give it a shot. This naturally will require work though.

I need an editor. As I've said before, I've been looking for over a year now and applying since two summers ago to agents. For some reason, I always thought I had to go through this long, arduous process to get there. Silly me, I have friends.

One of my very good friends is incredibly good at editing. While she didn't major in writing, her mother ingrained in her brain how to properly construct, well, everything. She would be ideal to ask to edit. She thinks the story is strong and will be able to (hopefully), fly through the material and get an edited copy off to me in a few weeks, leaving me time to edit and upload a proper copy before I buy a bunch for the gallery.

So this is my advice: don't shy away from the seemingly easy answers. Even if this adventure proves fruitless, I'll have a far better polished manuscript at hand to give someone. It always helps to have a second set of eyes look over your book critically and analyze where it's strengths and weaknesses are.

Because as the writer, you can read and reread your story a million times over and you might still miss the same typo or the same grammatical error. It's why in all of my writing classes we always read each other's pieces. It gave outside advice and opinions. It also helped to catch problems that the writer might have missed.

Search for your editor. Whether it's a professional or a friend, it'll help your manuscript in the end.

Happy writing!

Currently Writing: Arthur
Currently Reading: The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien
Currently Listening to: "Sticks and Stones" by Sigur Ros

Sinking

I think everyone reaches points like this throughout their lives.

I need more hours in the day. I need to not require sleep. I need to stop worrying. I need to relinquish control. I need to stop giving in to fear. I need to try harder. I need to try less. I'm not working hard enough. I'm not doing enough. Or am I doing too much?

This crazy juxtaposition of emotions is what I'm falling into at the moment.

Not a single book has been sold in almost two weeks. That shouldn't bother me. And yet it does. It shouldn't bother me because I'm not in this for the money. If I was looking for money, I would have tried harder in school, networked better, and done about a million things differently. I'm in the publishing industry because I want to tell a story and I want the world to know that story. Money - eh, who cares. In the long run, it means little. I only want what I need to get by. I only want to have enough to eat, have a roof over my head that's preferably my own, and a dog. That's it.

I need to find an editor. I've been talking about this for nearly a year now. The problem I face is simple: I don't have enough time right now. Between wanting to read my Bible (and a book Niki and I picked up called "The Story"), working, trying to help around the house, seeing friends before they move to Timbuktu (figuratively), staying on top of new worship songs and VBS next week...

I need to not need sleep.

I haven't touched my Writer's Market Guide in almost a week, and it's grating against me. I feel like I'm not taking steps in the right direction.

Y'know, initially I was going to have my book up for sale on CreateSpace for a limited time. I was only going to keep it up for a month, let those that really wanted it buy it, and then take it down. It would save me time in worrying about it and I'd have what I wanted - a physical copy of my book. Then I thought that was stupid. Then everyone was so excited about it. Nearly everyone I talked to was saying how they wanted to get a copy.

*Shrug* Now what? Is this God blatantly putting up a block, telling me it's not yet time? Is this Him saying to stop - this isn't the avenue? Why can't I get neon lights? I never notice the subtle things. Ever. I need the foghorn.

Maybe that's my problem.

Currently Writing and/or Editing: Absolutely nothing. And I think I might go mad.
Currently Reading: The Once and Future King by T.H. White
Currently Listening to: "When the Stars Burn Down (Blessing And Honor)" by Phillips, Craig and Dean

The Seasons

Right now I'm not at a job I necessarily am enthused about. Working in retail for the rest of my life doesn't sound like my ideal position, but I'm always trying to remind myself that I'm where I need to be for the moment. Every day I make as valid an attempt I can at asking God to show me why I'm where I am. To help me endure the rough days and to praise Him for the good ones.

Yesterday, two good things happened.

The first of which was, three of my customers asked me about my necklace. I have a crown of thorns necklace that I've had since the year the Passion of the Christ came out. When I was younger (and even now), I'd had cross necklaces, but they always felt empty to me. The world had lost the understanding, the weight behind what the cross meant. How it could be beautiful and awful at the same time. I liked them enough, but I wanted something different. Something people would ask about.

I've taken to wearing the necklace every day at work. Just something small (like my promise ring), that can set me apart and maybe, just maybe, help witness to others. I'm sure I fail on a regular basis. But I still try.

Then yesterday, those three customers asked what it was. It opened the doorway for short conversations with each of them. One was definitely a believer, while one was obviously not. The last person that asked me was a woman who was faxing the death certificate of her best friend and sister-in-law.

I can only hope that somehow my brief talks with each of them helped them in some way.

The other good thing that happened was: I got a job nibble. One of my customers (not only is the mom to a once-fellow associate), has to clients that are editors for magazines. One of them is interested in me. So last night I emailed off my resume to her. I'm excited to see what happens with it. Because working retail, while it's great to have a job right now, is not what I want to be doing for the rest of my life. There's far too much I want to accomplish outside of these cramped walls and massive windows.

So wish me luck. And prayer. Prayer is always a good thing in times like these.

Currently Editing: Genesis
Currently Reading: The Once and Future King by T.H. White
Currently Listening to: "Promise" by Thomas Bergersen

Entering Adventure

Tomorrow I'm going to the library to search for these books.

In all of my searching for agents and editors (although honestly, I've only really looked at agents), I had constrained myself to the Christian market. The idea of going into the secular world scared the tar out of me. It still kind of does, if I'm honest with myself. Although, for some reason, I've never actually thought that the Christian market was where my books were meant to land.

Let's look at things. There's the secular market, where you have, well, everything. Then there's the Christian market. It's where everything even remotely hinting at God gets thrown. Books there tend to wither and die. They're allegorical and annoying. Not that allegory is wrong. It's just wrong for me. And boring. Take Ted Dekker's Color series (Red, Black, White and Green). I read through the first three and knew all of the plot twists that were going to happen halfway through the first book. It made the reading of the other two to be irritating. There wasn't any surprise or suspense. I know he can write it, because Adam was pretty dang good.

All of this to say that my books are not allegorical. I sat back while talking with my mom and realized that the people I'm attempting to emulate (C.S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkien), are not confined to the Christian market. In fact, when you walk into a book store and search for Narnia, it's in the children section while Lord of the Rings sits in the Fantasy section. These two titans of writing have straddled the line between the Christian and secular world.

I wish to do the same.

I guess that means that I'm heading toward where I think I need to be. The research begins and hopefully (fingers crossed), I'll be sending out proposals within the next month.

In the meantime, anyone reading this - do you pitch a series differently from a one book, stand alone novel? Seeing as I'm technically only sending the first book in my series to people for publishing, I am pitching the whole five-book series. Is that done differently? Do I need to be sure to mention it in a query letter? Or am I pitching the whole story arc itself?

Happy writing!

Currently Reading: Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins
Currently [Re]Writing: Unity
Currently Listening to: "Without You" by David Guetta feat. Usher

The Blessed Life

I'm super thankful for a number of things. And it's not even Thanksgiving.

My friends, family members, and my college. Houghton sometimes irritates the snot out of me, but that's mostly due to the administration. The students and the professors are all phenomenal. I'm bummed that in two weeks I'll be done classes, in three weeks I'll be done finals, and in under a month I'll be graduating. But for the time I'm here, I'm thankful for what I've been able to learn and for those professors that have made an obvious impact in my life.

I just got back from a half hour long chat with my senior seminar professor and we basically just talked about writing after college and what my plans were. Sometimes it's nice to be looked at as a semi-adult and not as a child. When I sat down and told him that I finished editing my novella and added a few chapters to the end, he laughed and I asked why. "It's just...you say 'I added a few chapters' the way most people say 'I added a couple paragraphs'."

I couldn't rightly explain it, so I tried and I think I failed. I attempted to remind my professor that I had a fairly easy semester and had a lot of free time, which I utilized as often as possible for writing, hence why I was coming out with a "book count" and not a "word count" as my prof said. He then asked me whether or not I was planning to get my fifth book done by graduation. I hesitantly said, "I hope so. My realistic goal is before I turn 24 in June. My 'gosh-I-hope-I-can' goal is by graduation. Then it can be a double celebration!"

A small bit of fear grips me at the prospect of emailing all five books to my prof at the end of the semester (or when book five is done). I've never offered for a professor to read my books, which I think is something that should be done eventually, but it's daunting. To have someone that has spent the past three years looking at my writing, critiquing it, and pushing me forward is almost terrifying. But on one hand I kind of hope it'll act as a prelude to sending my book to publishers. If my prof can read it and enjoy it (which is my sincere hope), then maybe someone else can read it and enjoy it.

Welp, I gotta go off to lunch. Happy writing everyone.

Currently Writing: Revelation
Currently Reading: Eldest by Christopher Paolini
Currently Listening to: "Down" by Two Steps From Hell

Gosh This is Hard

You know, as a child I always thought writing was something old people did. No one could actually do it in today's world and anyone that did got lucky and never really had the chance to live off of their struggles. Then one day, I was told that wasn't the case. Then we had people like J.K. Rowling and Stephanie Meyer show up and I realized, hey, if they could do it, why not me?
And now at 23, I realize my child-self was right.
Publishing isn't just hard, it's like, super-impossible. I'm exaggerating of course. However a bit of me isn't. I've been searching for an agent to back my book series and perhaps help me get published. And you know what? As a new writer, NO ONE WANTS ME.
That's also a bit of an exaggeration. There are some people out there looking for new writers, and naturally I will be seeking them out with a video of me crying saying, "Please, please, please take me on! I promise I'm good!" But most agencies, both Christian and secular, don't want new writers.
I understand why. From a business standpoint, we're a major risk. All it takes is a little misplaced faith and BOOM, you're an agent or editor with a crappy book that no one wants to buy and a writer you've got to pay whining that it wasn't their fault.
But then what about those of us that are good? Now, I'm not saying I'm great. I'm not even comfortable saying that I'm good. But I've been told enough times by a wide variety of people that I am a talented writer that it seems a little silly to ignore them. Especially when among those people are friends who wouldn't really care if they hurt my feelings in the process of telling me the truth. Because to my friends, telling the truth and hurting someone is better than lying and snickering behind their back.
All of this to say that I might have to self-publish.
Now, that wouldn't be the end of the world. I'm aware of that fact. However, it really wasn't my first choice. I really would prefer to actually learn the publication process. But hey, for all I know that's the way I need to go.
For some reason though, that road seems so much harder. Self-publishing means doing all the work myself and me paying out before even a hint of revenue comes in. Granted, if it worked well, then all of the profit would come to me (at least most of it would, I think). However if it didn't work well, I'd be up the creek without a paddle.
It's a little discouraging really. I know that the traditional publication process can take up to a year and a half. By then the fantasy thing might be old news. It might not be, but all it would take would be some new fad to come along and suddenly everyone but die-hard fans would hate fantasy stuff. And where would that leave my novels? High and dry that's where.
So what do I do? Struggle along and hope I'm going in the right path? Or take a plunge and a leap of faith and self-publish?
Sometimes I wish for neon signs. And other times, I'm so incredibly glad I don't get them. This is one of the times I wish I got them.
Currently Editing: End Game: Genesis (Chapter 24)
Currently Writing: Alaster
Currently Reading: Eragon by Christopher Paolini
Currently Listening to: "Alive" by Superchic[k]