Y'know what baffles me? This isn't like a silly little thing. It literally confuses me until my brain starts to throb from non-understanding.
I'll explain myself with a story. Today our self-serve color machine decided to freeze. Legit. Out of nowhere it suddenly became non-responsive The menu would pop up, but beyond that, it would just sit there and beep at you. No error messages. No warning. Just random inefficiency.
So about an hour before I had the time to call our helpdesk, I had this customer ask for hep with it, 'cause you know, it wasn't working. I went over with a fellow coworker to help try to remedy the situation. When we discovered it wasn't responding to anything (even a hard shutdown and reboot), we offered to make the copies for the customer behind the counter.
Now, before I continue, let me explain this customer. He was an older, squat gentleman. If you saw him on the street, you'd think, "Aw, he looks like a nice old man. Probably very respectable and conservative." You'd never guess he was carrying around a book of nude women and planned to copy them in a very public place. Not kidding in the slightest.
As he tried to discretely hide the front cover (and failed miserably), he said in an abrupt sort of way, "No thanks." He tucked the book under his arm, facing the cover toward himself, and we apologized to him as he gruffly muttered something before he walked briskly out of the building.
Here's what confuses me.
If it's so okay for someone to be into porn or sex or any sort of sin, then why do we struggle so hard to hide it? I'm positing a question I really want an explanation for. So often we're told to be "tolerant" of others and their choices. To accept them and be gracious in understanding and respecting their actions. To allow that our culture has grown "freer" - or a worse description - "more accepting" to a growing (de)sensitizing culture. We're supposed to be okay with the fact that PG-13 rated movies show sex scenes while R rated films garner full on NC-17 material. We're supposed to be okay with homosexuality. We're supposed to be okay with abortion. Because "that's what our culture has matured to."
Then why do we hide it?
Why do we so shamelessly tuck something away that's supposed to be okay? That's supposed to be accepted? Why do we feel the need to not let others - strangers or otherwise - to know about our obsession? Why keep secrets if what we keep secret is viewed as a-okay?
Just going out on a limb here, but could it be because it's wrong?
Saturday, January 12, 2013
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
The Title Eludes Me
It's gonna be one of those weeks.
One of my coworkers won't be in this week, due to his father relapsing hard core on his cancer. Things apparently aren't looking very good and so my coworker will be spending as much time with his family as possible, rather than at work. I feel really bad knowing that there is little I can do aside from pray.
I'm an awful person. Because at the same time, I know that this week is pretty much shot. Someone's gotta pick up his shifts. Those someones are myself and my fellow Copy Center Associate. If I wind up working all 7 days this week (which really isn't the end of the world), I'll be clocking in around 49 hours of work.
49 hours.
I haven't done a work week near 50 hours since the beginning of my second year at Staples. On one hand it's great - more money to put into my student loans. On the other hand, I kind of want to crawl into a hole and die. If I'm remembering correctly, weeks like this made me hate Staples. Simply because I couldn't get away.
Worse though, is the fact that I literally have no motivation. Here I am, sitting with at least two hours of prime writing time, and I can't dredge up the gusto to even skim through Unity. In spite of the fact that I was only just on vacation a week ago, I feel drained. How does this happen so quickly?
A large part of me wants to kick myself and say, "Stop it! Just get back on the bandwagon and move forward!" Another part of me wants to just say, "Screw it. I wrote 5 books and a novella in one year. Time to take a breather!"
The larger part of me doesn't want to take a breather. There's so much story to explore! There are so many avenues and characters and aspects of this world that have yet to fully be brought to light. I can't just sit idly by and do nothing. Especially when I obviously have the time.
I gotta crack my back, take a deep breath, grab my coffee mug and explore my imagination again. There's bound to be something buried in there that'll shock me back into the flame of story writing.
Happy adventuring everyone! I hope you're not as lethargic as I am.
Currently Writing: I should really, really, REALLY do Zero Point. Maybe I'll start that tonight.
Currently Reading: Brisinger by Christopher Paolini
Currently Listening to: "Once Upon a December" from the Anastasia soundtrack
One of my coworkers won't be in this week, due to his father relapsing hard core on his cancer. Things apparently aren't looking very good and so my coworker will be spending as much time with his family as possible, rather than at work. I feel really bad knowing that there is little I can do aside from pray.
I'm an awful person. Because at the same time, I know that this week is pretty much shot. Someone's gotta pick up his shifts. Those someones are myself and my fellow Copy Center Associate. If I wind up working all 7 days this week (which really isn't the end of the world), I'll be clocking in around 49 hours of work.
49 hours.
I haven't done a work week near 50 hours since the beginning of my second year at Staples. On one hand it's great - more money to put into my student loans. On the other hand, I kind of want to crawl into a hole and die. If I'm remembering correctly, weeks like this made me hate Staples. Simply because I couldn't get away.
Worse though, is the fact that I literally have no motivation. Here I am, sitting with at least two hours of prime writing time, and I can't dredge up the gusto to even skim through Unity. In spite of the fact that I was only just on vacation a week ago, I feel drained. How does this happen so quickly?
A large part of me wants to kick myself and say, "Stop it! Just get back on the bandwagon and move forward!" Another part of me wants to just say, "Screw it. I wrote 5 books and a novella in one year. Time to take a breather!"
The larger part of me doesn't want to take a breather. There's so much story to explore! There are so many avenues and characters and aspects of this world that have yet to fully be brought to light. I can't just sit idly by and do nothing. Especially when I obviously have the time.
I gotta crack my back, take a deep breath, grab my coffee mug and explore my imagination again. There's bound to be something buried in there that'll shock me back into the flame of story writing.
Happy adventuring everyone! I hope you're not as lethargic as I am.
Currently Writing: I should really, really, REALLY do Zero Point. Maybe I'll start that tonight.
Currently Reading: Brisinger by Christopher Paolini
Currently Listening to: "Once Upon a December" from the Anastasia soundtrack
Sunday, January 6, 2013
Hobbies
We've had this great sale going on at work on these 16x20 photo enlargements. Being the goober I am, I've been printing pictures for my future home. 'Cause I've got room to store these things.
Anyway, because I've been printing pictures for myself and my parents (they wanted some decor for our Beach House and are pooling pictures from my collection), a number of my coworkers have been seeing my photography and commenting on it. Bringing a plethora of prints home every other day has been fun.
My dad was looking at a shot I took of Cinderella's Castle at Disney World. Impressed by it (I have to admit I really like it), he said, "The number of things you do well amazes me. Creatively, I mean. You can write these books and take these great pictures and come up with unique ceramics stuff. There's little you don't do well."
The problem I constantly have is that I don't have enough time or energy to do all the things I love doing. I have too many hobbies. There's too many things I enjoy doing and wish I could do more of. Because of this, I'm baffled when people say they don't have hobbies - or that they don't even know if they have hobbies.
One of my coworkers and I were talking today about hobbies. I can't remember what led to the conversation, but he basically began digging around, thinking about what he enjoyed doing. It was strange. With each thing he brought up as a potential hobby, I was thinking, "Am I really that strange to have so many things I enjoy doing?"
It baffles me. What motivates people to get out of bed and do something? Is it really just working to obtain money, to then afford stuff (or worse, pay off loans), to be exhausted to fall asleep and do it all over again? How do you survive like that? What drives you?
As I drove home, I listened to "Revolution" by Trading Yesterday. The very opening line is, "Open up my eyes to dreams that should have died. I was made for more than this." Those lyrics make me feel empowered to do something extraordinary. To step outside of the mundane and become more than the cookie cutter of a human being.
For some reason, I began to pray for everyone I knew. I want them all to feel a sense of extraordinary; a desire to reach for something new and exciting. To have something impact them and inspire them to do...something. Something amazing. Something unheard of. Something crazy. Something beyond their comfort zone.
That's my challenge to you - whomever you are. Search for your extraordinary. It's out there, we're all capable of it. In fact, I think we're meant to aspire to it. Climb a mountain. Design something new. Create a new software. Make a new gadget. Rethink the way we do things. Dream up a story. Buy that camera and tour Europe - then write a book about it. Find your cliff and jump off of it. It's in the terror of falling that I think we find our wings and begin to fly.
Adventure. It's calling. I can hear it. Do you?
Anyway, because I've been printing pictures for myself and my parents (they wanted some decor for our Beach House and are pooling pictures from my collection), a number of my coworkers have been seeing my photography and commenting on it. Bringing a plethora of prints home every other day has been fun.
My dad was looking at a shot I took of Cinderella's Castle at Disney World. Impressed by it (I have to admit I really like it), he said, "The number of things you do well amazes me. Creatively, I mean. You can write these books and take these great pictures and come up with unique ceramics stuff. There's little you don't do well."
The problem I constantly have is that I don't have enough time or energy to do all the things I love doing. I have too many hobbies. There's too many things I enjoy doing and wish I could do more of. Because of this, I'm baffled when people say they don't have hobbies - or that they don't even know if they have hobbies.
One of my coworkers and I were talking today about hobbies. I can't remember what led to the conversation, but he basically began digging around, thinking about what he enjoyed doing. It was strange. With each thing he brought up as a potential hobby, I was thinking, "Am I really that strange to have so many things I enjoy doing?"
It baffles me. What motivates people to get out of bed and do something? Is it really just working to obtain money, to then afford stuff (or worse, pay off loans), to be exhausted to fall asleep and do it all over again? How do you survive like that? What drives you?
As I drove home, I listened to "Revolution" by Trading Yesterday. The very opening line is, "Open up my eyes to dreams that should have died. I was made for more than this." Those lyrics make me feel empowered to do something extraordinary. To step outside of the mundane and become more than the cookie cutter of a human being.
For some reason, I began to pray for everyone I knew. I want them all to feel a sense of extraordinary; a desire to reach for something new and exciting. To have something impact them and inspire them to do...something. Something amazing. Something unheard of. Something crazy. Something beyond their comfort zone.
That's my challenge to you - whomever you are. Search for your extraordinary. It's out there, we're all capable of it. In fact, I think we're meant to aspire to it. Climb a mountain. Design something new. Create a new software. Make a new gadget. Rethink the way we do things. Dream up a story. Buy that camera and tour Europe - then write a book about it. Find your cliff and jump off of it. It's in the terror of falling that I think we find our wings and begin to fly.
Adventure. It's calling. I can hear it. Do you?
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
The Most Magical Place on Earth
I got to spend my Christmas week in Florida at Disney World.
It was a wonderful time and I really did enjoy it. As I went back to work yesterday, I dilly-dallied around because well, let's face it, no one was that worried about getting their copies done on January 1st. Anyway, today I was compiling pictures from the trip and uploading them to Facebook. 'Cause that's what I do. In the hours that it took me to muddle through the nearly 900 pictures from the trip and upload them, I found myself already yearning to be back there.
Crazy, right?
In a way, yeah. There's only been two days separating me and my mini vacation, so I really shouldn't be missing it. Yet I am. Which I think is a common thing. Everyone pulls themselves out of relaxation and fun and throws themselves back into the work grind and almost immediately, we say, "I wish my vacation had been longer."
I heard once, I don't know where, that it takes two weeks to fully de-stress from any given situation. If that's the case, then I need two weeks off pronto. I haven't had two weeks off since I left for Memphis to help my brother two summers ago. Even when I was sitting around my last month of school, I wasn't relaxing - I was hammering out book 5 and stressing over every detail of that. Almost immediately after graduating I had a job and started working.
Not a bad thing, mind you - having a job I mean. But nonetheless, no wonder I'm exhausted. However, I can't afford two weeks off. With my loans now in repayment (oh joy), I've gotta keep working so I can hammer those away to a reasonable amount. That way I can look to move out and get my own place.
Maybe whenever I find a job other than retail, I'll take a two week hiatus before starting the new job. Whatever that may be and wherever that may be. Or for all I know, I'll just charge full steam ahead and do lots of stuff without taking a break.
I think the latter has a greater chance of actually happening. 'Cause even with my short work week this week, I'm packing a million and ten things into it. Tomorrow I drive to Jamestown to visit friends from school.
The only thing I can hope is that the little efforts I make in keeping contact with my friends will be worth it and one day, who knows when, we'll all be together again on a vacation or something.
Happy adventuring everyone!
Currently Writing: Random story ideas. Be back to production within a week or so (see? I don't even know how to take a break from writing.)
Currently Reading: Brisinger by Christopher Paolini
Currently Listening to: "Illuminations" on the Epcot: Tapestry of Dreams CD
It was a wonderful time and I really did enjoy it. As I went back to work yesterday, I dilly-dallied around because well, let's face it, no one was that worried about getting their copies done on January 1st. Anyway, today I was compiling pictures from the trip and uploading them to Facebook. 'Cause that's what I do. In the hours that it took me to muddle through the nearly 900 pictures from the trip and upload them, I found myself already yearning to be back there.
Crazy, right?
In a way, yeah. There's only been two days separating me and my mini vacation, so I really shouldn't be missing it. Yet I am. Which I think is a common thing. Everyone pulls themselves out of relaxation and fun and throws themselves back into the work grind and almost immediately, we say, "I wish my vacation had been longer."
I heard once, I don't know where, that it takes two weeks to fully de-stress from any given situation. If that's the case, then I need two weeks off pronto. I haven't had two weeks off since I left for Memphis to help my brother two summers ago. Even when I was sitting around my last month of school, I wasn't relaxing - I was hammering out book 5 and stressing over every detail of that. Almost immediately after graduating I had a job and started working.
Not a bad thing, mind you - having a job I mean. But nonetheless, no wonder I'm exhausted. However, I can't afford two weeks off. With my loans now in repayment (oh joy), I've gotta keep working so I can hammer those away to a reasonable amount. That way I can look to move out and get my own place.
Maybe whenever I find a job other than retail, I'll take a two week hiatus before starting the new job. Whatever that may be and wherever that may be. Or for all I know, I'll just charge full steam ahead and do lots of stuff without taking a break.
I think the latter has a greater chance of actually happening. 'Cause even with my short work week this week, I'm packing a million and ten things into it. Tomorrow I drive to Jamestown to visit friends from school.
The only thing I can hope is that the little efforts I make in keeping contact with my friends will be worth it and one day, who knows when, we'll all be together again on a vacation or something.
Happy adventuring everyone!
Currently Writing: Random story ideas. Be back to production within a week or so (see? I don't even know how to take a break from writing.)
Currently Reading: Brisinger by Christopher Paolini
Currently Listening to: "Illuminations" on the Epcot: Tapestry of Dreams CD
Book 2013, Chapter 1 of 365
I've thought it over a bit today and I decided I don't like the phrase "happy new year". Couldn't rightly say why, just that I don't like it.
If I had to hazard a guess, it would be because everyone tends to ask questions like, "What's your new year's resolution?" and, "What did you do for new year's?" I have no resolutions and I drove through most of the east coast for my new year's. That might sound boring, but I got to see a bunch of fireworks shows along highway 95.
Regarding the whole "new years resolution" thing...
No, I don't have any. Not because I don't think I need them, but because I don't try to assign a multitude of things I wish to change about myself all on day one of a new book. It's hard enough to tackle the nitty-gritty of our lives. Only crazy people pile all that sludge up and say "I'll fix this all," and actually expect it to change within 365 days.
You know what I resolve to do? Spend each day trying to be the best me I can be. Pray more frequently and live with a freer attitude about life. There's so much more to this world than stress and worry and fear. There're infinite possibilities with our lives if we allow ourselves the opportunity to adventure into our ever expansive imaginations.
I'm really tired, so I feel like I'm not making sense. I'll sum up what I'm trying to say: Enjoy life. Don't pile up all the stuff you want to change about yourself and attempt to conquer the mountain of it all. Take life with each step and celebrate your victories - however small they may appear. Never stop aiming for improvement, but at the same time, never let yourself feel discouraged by "all you want to do differently". One day, I couldn't say when, you'll wake up and realize that suddenly you're where you never thought you could reach.
Have faith and hope. That'll keep leading you on.
Welcome to another rotation of the world. May the next 364 days bring you countless adventures that you can't help but tell the world about.
If I had to hazard a guess, it would be because everyone tends to ask questions like, "What's your new year's resolution?" and, "What did you do for new year's?" I have no resolutions and I drove through most of the east coast for my new year's. That might sound boring, but I got to see a bunch of fireworks shows along highway 95.
Regarding the whole "new years resolution" thing...
No, I don't have any. Not because I don't think I need them, but because I don't try to assign a multitude of things I wish to change about myself all on day one of a new book. It's hard enough to tackle the nitty-gritty of our lives. Only crazy people pile all that sludge up and say "I'll fix this all," and actually expect it to change within 365 days.
You know what I resolve to do? Spend each day trying to be the best me I can be. Pray more frequently and live with a freer attitude about life. There's so much more to this world than stress and worry and fear. There're infinite possibilities with our lives if we allow ourselves the opportunity to adventure into our ever expansive imaginations.
I'm really tired, so I feel like I'm not making sense. I'll sum up what I'm trying to say: Enjoy life. Don't pile up all the stuff you want to change about yourself and attempt to conquer the mountain of it all. Take life with each step and celebrate your victories - however small they may appear. Never stop aiming for improvement, but at the same time, never let yourself feel discouraged by "all you want to do differently". One day, I couldn't say when, you'll wake up and realize that suddenly you're where you never thought you could reach.
Have faith and hope. That'll keep leading you on.
Welcome to another rotation of the world. May the next 364 days bring you countless adventures that you can't help but tell the world about.
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