The Cancer of Moods

Last week, I worked over 51 hours. I loved every minute of it and enjoyed the time I got to spend with my coworkers. When Saturday rolled around, I was actually a little bummed that I had Sunday off, simply because I had not only gotten accustomed to being at the store every day, but I liked that I had been a consistent thing at work. It was great.

The crazy thing is, one person can ruin that feeling in an instant.

Another story for you from my life in retail (which is probably true of nearly any work environment). Yesterday, we had a cashier call out. It makes things difficult, but my "boss" in Copy Center offered to stay until eight to help with coverage. Because of that, I was asked to be the cashier until eight. Fine and peachy with me.

Until, for some reason, my lead from CC decided to try to override what my manager on duty had already decided. Literally, in an instant, there was more tension in the building than I liked. It only got worse when the head of my department left for the evening and I went over to "finish the jobs that were for me". Not only did I have to keep a customer until 9:15 last night because he wouldn't work on the job in question, but I was scrambling like a chicken with my head cut off trying to ensure that our opening associate knew what was going on.

I sped away from the building shouting to "One More" by Superchick. When I got home, I vented to my mom about the laziness of the individual in question. Then I let it go. Or at least, I tried to. Because then I started to think back to last week, and how much I had enjoyed myself.

It surprises me how easily one person's laziness, incompetency, and downright rudeness can completely destroy whatever might have otherwise been a good working environment. Then I realized, this is the cancer of our moods - negativity.

I could be the best me I could muster, but sometimes I'm thrown into situations where I just want to punch someone square in the face. The frailty of my human feelings is blatantly apparent in instances like this. It shows me that I really need to learn how to get my mind out of the present and start thinking more about what needs to be done. And, most importantly, to not let it rattle me to the point of wanting to drive my car off a cliff.

That's a hard bill to swallow though. Learning to accept that hard times are coming and that you have to be better than the problems thrown at you might very well lead to me shattering whatever self-esteem I have. I have a fine line to tread in the next few months to keep my attitude, and my heart, in check. If I'm to be a light at all, I need to learn how to be a light at all times and in all environments.

Easier said than done. But I'll do it none the less.

Disaster, Discipline and Defrosting

Hurricane (then turned into Tropical Storm) Sandy did a good number on my local area. Which seemed surreal for me. My house was barely affected by the storm. Some blown transformers in the area and occasionally surges, but nothing disastrous.

But when I was told on Monday that Staples was closed, and then again yesterday, I was a little surprised at the widespread devastation around the local area. Then I drove up to Quakertown.

Downed trees, street lights off for miles, store signs blown to smithereens, telephone poles ripped to the ground from uprooted trees, whole shopping centers in the black.

Sometimes, I get a "home bubble" when I get stuck inside. Even though I read the reports and Facebook updates of friends, it still feels miles away from me. Not a block up and around the corner (where a tree was practically thrown across the front lawn of a nearby house). We have yet to find out the situation with our shore house down in Ocean City, NJ. My dad is fully prepared to lose everything on the first floor.

And with this storm came cold, biting weather. The kind that forces people to finally turn on their heaters and huddle around them. The kind of cold that freezes your toes and no amount of shuffling them under your covers will warm them again. Normally, I love this weather. But this was brought about with damp and dreary wetness, which only accentuates the cold in the air.

Now I have to remind myself that I need to be ready to leave for work five minutes earlier, just to defrost my car.

In other news, at midnight tonight, NaNoWriMo starts in earnest. I have a few writing buddies to join me on the journey and hopefully I'll stick to my schedule. I know as of late, my discipline has been lacking. So, to keep myself in check, I wrote up a calendar and forced myself to schedule time for writing. It sounds so childish to me, but I need to do it.

As of tomorrow, every day at 10pm, I will retreat to my room, plug in my headphones, and write until I can't write anymore. I have a pretty insane goal this time around: rewrite Unity. That should be easy, right?

Well, for those that weren't around last time, Unity is over 102,000 words on its own. That's close to 15,000 more words than Genesis. And in this rewrite, I know many, many words will be added on. My goal during November is to rewrite Unity in its entirety.

Wish me luck, fellow Wrimos, and I hope to see you on the battlefield of writing.

Happy adventuring!

Currently Reading: Hood by Stephen Lawhead
Currently Listening to: "Hope Will Lead Us On" by Barlowgirl

P.S. - Barlowgirl is one of my favorite bands. For 10 years, they've inspired me, encouraged me, and helped me through the darkest times and given me voice in the joyful times. Their concert was one of the most love-filled events I've ever been to, and I'm sad to see them go. I do, however, look forward to where God takes them next. If you've never listened to their music, I highly encourage you to look into them. You'll be glad you did.