You Ridiculous Person You

Adventures in Susan's mind chapter one.

Today I was standing with one of my coworkers as he toiled away and I waited to get on the computer to print something. As he worked, he brought up the fact that he was required to friendzone a girl he was seeing. "Why are you friendzoning her?" I asked.

"She doesn't meet my requirements."

"Okay, how doesn't she measure up?"

"Well, for starters, she's twenty-five, she works at a dead end job, she doesn't have a college degree, and her greatest ambition in life is to move out of her parents house. That just won't work for me."

I almost laughed in his face.

"That's so mean!" You say. I must not like my coworkers very much to want to laugh square in their face when they say something like that. I must be a cold-hearted individual to think such a response is appropriate. Hold your horses there cowboy. Just settle down for a sec. Here's why I almost laughed at him:

Because he was describing himself.

Aside from the "twenty-five years old" bit, literally, that kid just lumped her into the same category as himself. And he's deluded enough to think that somehow he's better than her! This kid dropped out of college after a semester, has allowed himself to rise to his own level of incompetence at our workplace (which is retail by the way), and whenever I ask him about what he wants to do with his life, he responds with, "I dunno." His greatest ambition is to build a quad and move out of his parents house. Aside from the quad, it sounds exactly the same as this girl that he's forcing into the friendzone.

See, this is why people are so screwed up. We all think that somehow we're allowed to put restrictions on other people and "requirements" on our potential spouse. But at the same time, don't you dare put a requirement on me. Somehow, that rule doesn't apply to myself, but it certainly applies to everyone else in my life.

How ridiculous. This is precisely why I can't take this kid seriously.

In other, completely unrelated news, I sent out queries & synopsis to three agents tonight. Hopefully, within the next two weeks, I'll be hearing something. Additionally, our Nonprofit group finally was authenticated by the government.

Currently Editing: Unity
Currently Reading: Brisinger by Christopher Paolini
Currently Listening to: "Clarity" by Zedd