The Cancer of Moods

Last week, I worked over 51 hours. I loved every minute of it and enjoyed the time I got to spend with my coworkers. When Saturday rolled around, I was actually a little bummed that I had Sunday off, simply because I had not only gotten accustomed to being at the store every day, but I liked that I had been a consistent thing at work. It was great.

The crazy thing is, one person can ruin that feeling in an instant.

Another story for you from my life in retail (which is probably true of nearly any work environment). Yesterday, we had a cashier call out. It makes things difficult, but my "boss" in Copy Center offered to stay until eight to help with coverage. Because of that, I was asked to be the cashier until eight. Fine and peachy with me.

Until, for some reason, my lead from CC decided to try to override what my manager on duty had already decided. Literally, in an instant, there was more tension in the building than I liked. It only got worse when the head of my department left for the evening and I went over to "finish the jobs that were for me". Not only did I have to keep a customer until 9:15 last night because he wouldn't work on the job in question, but I was scrambling like a chicken with my head cut off trying to ensure that our opening associate knew what was going on.

I sped away from the building shouting to "One More" by Superchick. When I got home, I vented to my mom about the laziness of the individual in question. Then I let it go. Or at least, I tried to. Because then I started to think back to last week, and how much I had enjoyed myself.

It surprises me how easily one person's laziness, incompetency, and downright rudeness can completely destroy whatever might have otherwise been a good working environment. Then I realized, this is the cancer of our moods - negativity.

I could be the best me I could muster, but sometimes I'm thrown into situations where I just want to punch someone square in the face. The frailty of my human feelings is blatantly apparent in instances like this. It shows me that I really need to learn how to get my mind out of the present and start thinking more about what needs to be done. And, most importantly, to not let it rattle me to the point of wanting to drive my car off a cliff.

That's a hard bill to swallow though. Learning to accept that hard times are coming and that you have to be better than the problems thrown at you might very well lead to me shattering whatever self-esteem I have. I have a fine line to tread in the next few months to keep my attitude, and my heart, in check. If I'm to be a light at all, I need to learn how to be a light at all times and in all environments.

Easier said than done. But I'll do it none the less.