Foolish Fool

Y'know what I don't do well? Not sin.

Seriously. I am so horrible at keeping myself from sinning. Okay, I guess not horrible. But I am pretty dang screwed up. I can't stop myself sometimes. I know it's wrong and I'll even be thinking as I'm sinning, "This is wrong", but I'm stupid and I don't stop. What does that say about me? I know this kills my heavenly Father to watch me do this. I know I'm incredibly ashamed of it afterward. I'm ashamed of it as I'm doing it.

It's as simple as a lie. I know I'm lying. I know I'm not being honest and I hate myself for doing it. And yet I still do! How absolutely...absurd.

What kind of creature looks at wrong things, says, "That's bad," knows that it just makes us feel awful afterward, and still, despite that knowledge, goes for it? How masochistic are we as humans that we don't know how to just say no?

Awful thoughts enter our minds as we're driving down the road and the person in front of us is driving ten miles under the speed limit. Anger floods our bones at the most inane of situations. Violence screams in our marrow. We tear one another down. We ridicule and defame. As though that'll somehow make us feel better.

We lie. We cheat. We steal. At the end of it all, we know full well it's wrong. We know it's not going to help anything. In fact, we'll regret it later. Yet we still do it. Curse our human nature.

The craziest thing is though that God is still willing to take us.

Why would he want to call me His child? What have I possibly done to deserve being called His daughter? Nothing. But He still does.

What great, unfathomable love.