Battle Writing

Kids, if anyone ever tells you that writing a book is easy. Smack them.
Especially if the book your writing is part of a series and even more so if you're placing it within a fantasy world of your own making. Also, learn from my mistakes: don't write such a story and then make up your own races and then on top of that create 30+ characters to live within that world that you know you'll be interacting with on more than just a 1 page basis.
What brings this on? I'm into my third book, probably a little over half-way done writing it, and I'm in a battle scene. Normally these are really fun for me. Battle scenes are where most of the images in my head come from. But this one is really difficult, and I kind of always knew it would be, I just never wanted to admit it.
I've got around 25 of the 30+ characters I've created in this battle, and that's what's making it so difficult. See?

That's everything that I have open on my computer as I write a battle scene for this current situation. Most of what's open right now are word documents. I even created a whole word document that analyzes where my characters are and has a table to allow me the ability to strike through everyone that we've seen so far in the battle. You see, the problem with only mentioning two of them throughout the whole ordeal makes it sound like it was only two people involved in the battle. That doesn't make it believable when you've got over 20 characters running around in said fight.
Writing is a task that takes hours of blood, sweat and tears. Anyone who tells you it's an easy process has never actually attempted it or is in denial. Even more so when you take into account the kind of world we live in today.
I could, if I wanted to, self-publish my book right now. I won't, because there's a lot left to edit before I even pursue publishing. But because anyone who ever sits down and decides to open a word document and write a 100 page story can post their book online and sell it for whatever they want. Because of that, we run the risk of people uploading crap that is still on its first draft sitting out on the internet for unknowing buyers to fill their libraries with.
There's a very real risk for lots and lots of bad writing to get out into the world. Now, in theory, only the good stuff will become popular. But that just isn't the case anymore. If enough hype is brought up around a series (or even one book), it can mean little to nothing if the story is well constructed or the writer in question can spell or properly construct a sentence.
Anyway, I'm going to go back to writing for a smigin before I call it a night/morning. I've got my last day of classes tomorrow and I need to be somewhat coherent. I do have a presentation in my Ceramics class first thing in the morning.
Currently Writing: End Game: Trinity (Chapter Eighteen)
Currently Reading: The Time Traveler's Wife
Currently Listening to: "Enigmatic Soul" by Two Steps From Hell

I Really am Bad About These Things...

Oh Blog posts, why do I forget about you? Possibly because I don't have any regular followers.

Anyway, 23 days after I embarked on the 50,000 word goal in the month of November and I flew right past it. However with the first of three direct holidays hitting me, I wound up not touching my book for 5 days (AAAAAHHHHH). I kind of think I'm going a little crazy for not having written. I left my characters high and dry in a not-so-great time, so it keeps coming to mind and I really want to get them out of there. Once I get back to school I'll hopefully have some more time.

So yes, I am a 2011 NaNoWriMo winner! Yeehaa! I knew that there was the potential to achieve the goal, but I wasn't 100% sure I would have the time necessary to get to where I wanted to be. And in reality, I wanted to be at a completed book by the end of November. Now, if I don't sleep, it's still a possibility. Will it actually happen? Probably not. Finals will be on top of me before I know it and I'd rather not die in the homestretch.

For now, I'm getting myself ready for bed. I won't get there till sometime in the early morning just because I need to pack up my things before I head up to my brother and sister's house for a second Thanksgiving and some tree hunting. It promises to be a good day tomorrow, just long with my 5 hours of driving to get back to school. Thankfully Jon & Mallory live in the direction of Houghton.

Good night, dear bloggers.

Currently Listening to: "The Time Has Come"
Currently Writing: End Game: Trinity (Chapter 17)
Currently Reading: Spook: Science Tackles the Afterlife

NaNoWriMo

So I've done it. I've signed up to be part of National Novel Writing Month. The goal: to write my third book in the next month. Who thinks I can do it?

Well, considering the fact that I wrote the second book in under two months, I think it's entirely possible to achieve. At least, that's what I'm hoping for. I've already finished the first chapter & prologue, so I'm off to a good start. Hopefully I can keep it up. I know for the weekends it'll be rough, because I tend to have next to no work ethic on weekends. Maybe this will get my butt in gear.

Thankfully my second short story for class is already done and turned in, I just need to edit it. The editing shouldn't take too long. I got a lot of good feedback from my fellow classmates, so I think the rewrite will go fairly smoothly. That means that my nightly routine might be entirely achievable. The girls in my flat tend to go to bed around 11 or 12, and if I can write between the hours of 12 and 3 on most nights (or 12 and 1 on others), I can get a solid 6 hours of sleep and still be functioning for classes.

That's doable, right?

In other news, I'm looking for a job in the publishing industry. I've found lots of openings that I think I could easily fill, but the problem I have is that I won't be available to work until mid August. I know I could start working in May, but then I probably wouldn't be able to attend the four weddings I want to go to this summer. Drat on all my friends deciding to get married this summer!

But I guess that's what happens when people are in love. We're just waiting on one more ring, and then officially four of them are engaged. It's that time of life, I guess, when lots of good things are happening to everyone.

Oh, to all out there! Keep my very good friend Alaina Bargar in your prayers. She's embarking on finding a House to publish her book. It's uber exciting, but also slightly intimidating. We're praying that God takes her in the direction she needs to go and that everything works to His will.

Okay, I'm gonna go to bed. I need to be up at 9 so I can be ready to go to class. And then I'm running my car to the autobody shop so he can have his passenger front door looked at. Hopefully it's just the insulation getting knocked out of whack. I'm crossing my fingers.

Currently Listening to: "Breathe" by Superchic[k]
Currently Writing: End Game: Trinity; chapter two
Currently Reading: Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

Halfway There

I'm so not good with this blog. But I suppose that's okay, seeing as no one, at the present moment, reads this.

In the past two and a half months a lot has happened. I've discovered that I had writer's block with book three of my series (shocker!), I have four weddings to go to this summer and only two of them are in the same month, the car I currently drive might not remain my car, my brother trusts me with his son for a whole day, my sister is spending her semester in Philly and I am definitely not a city person, and I can work really well with clay if I give myself time. There's plenty more I'm sure, but that's all that's coming to mind at the moment.

Really I just felt that it was about time to update this. So here I am, updating.

Writing a series is hard. Y'know, I always thought that it would just fly from me. Images would become words and those words would suddenly become a book. Just like magic. And then I started to try to write and that didn't happen. I had these idealistic thoughts that somehow this would be easy.

Boy was I wrong.

I haven't had writer's block since the first book. Not that it was that long ago. Well...maybe it was. Let me think. I wrote my first book back when I was a freshman in college, back at BCCC. I think it was my sophomore year when I was actually done with the draft - that Christmas. So it's been three years since I wrote a novel. And I've spent three years thinking through everything. And that was evident in book two. Things just flowed perfectly from my brain to the computer. I don't know how that happened.

Anyway, so I'm kind of stumped. National Novel Writing Month (NANOWRIMO), is coming up in November. In a perfect world - at least if it's God's will - I'll write the skeleton draft of my third book in that month. That would require me to stick to the 'write a chapter a night' routine. Is that possible? I guess I have some praying to do.

For now, I'll just keep plugging away and listening for what God has to say. His plans are first and foremost. Whatever I think is irrelevant if He's got something bigger and better planned. That's one of the nice things about a Heavenly Father who desires to do good for me. I'm such a lucky Daughter.

And We're Off

And thus we start another year at Houghton College. One more year, and I'll have a college degree. How scary is that? A part of me is rather glad it's almost over. It's frustrating for me to say, but school and I don't get along. I want to enjoy it, but instead we always seem to butt heads. However, this semester has the potential to be a good one.

For those that read this blog, I had a fairly eventful summer. My friend Shelly Manhart is now Shelly Carlson and I keep getting that wrong. I visited my forever friend Dana in northern New York for a long weekend. I took two online classes to keep my brain going over the summer because I tend to turn it off once finals are done. I also went down to Memphis to work with my brother to catch up his computer work for two weeks. It was a lucrative two weeks, but it was also rather boring. Granted, I'm not complaining.

Above all, I finished my second book. In two months, with a fire under my butt lit by God, I completed the first draft of my second book in my five book series. It's invigorating to know that I am capable of writing a 100,000+ word book in less than two months. I had been dragging my feet for so long that I didn't think I was able to actually do something like that. And yet here I am, printing out copies for my Houghton friends.

I feel blessed, really, to know that God is helping me through these hard times I go through. You know, last year really sucked and was among the hardest years I've ever gone through. But we all survived, some stronger and others better, but we survived. And this year has such a great feeling to it. We're only in the second week, but it feels so much like home already. Last year things felt insane within the first day. Now we're in week two and it's flown by.

Fumbling through my massive (or diminutive depending on who you're comparing me to), music library, I stumbled upon the band Fireflight. If you've never heard of them, go look them up. I'm on a kick from their music. I've got 2 1/2 of their albums and keep listening to the same songs over and over again. It truly amazes me how God uses so many different people to motivate, encourage and Shepard people to Him. Songs that reach the soul, poetry that moves the mind, and writing that can engage the spirit. The more I meet people and see their gifts and talents exposed, the more truly astounded I find myself at God's amazing power. Life gets hard sometimes, but at the end of the day, He's standing next to us, holding our hands. A gentle breeze reminds me, "He's here."

Well, I'm gonna head off and try to write a paper that isn't due for a week. I'd prefer to get ahead of my work this semester.

"I can hear you say, 'It's a brand new day.' The pain goes away and I'm headed for the door. And I'm going home."

Another Blog?

I've started another blog which is completely unrelated to this one. Upon my mom's encouragement, I've decided to start a blog about basic information regarding computers and their functions, uses, and attributes.

http://for-your-convenience.blogspot.com/

Feel free to go check it out. I'll be updating it as often as possible. I'm going to go round up pictures to go along with the first post now.

Also in my life, I'm working for my dad as his assistant, making dinner & cleaning the house, weeding every flower patch and garden around our homestead, and somewhere in there, trying to write a book. What happened to summer vacation and relaxing? Well, in today's day and age...it doesn't really exist.

You'll have to excuse me while I go attempt to work for an hour before calling it quits, waking up at 9 tomorrow, and then doing this all over again.

At the moment, I'm 3 chapters into my second book. The goal: a rough draft of the second book by the end of the summer. Doable? I think so.

Hearing

It's funny how God talks to us.

At the beginning of this school year, I felt pretty 'tight' with God. I went on nightly walks for an hour and just talked to Him. Out loud, unashamed of the fact that, physically I was talking to the air, but spiritually I was talking to my Father. Then the semester took hold and winter hit and it got cold outside. And then Spring semester came and I worried more about grades than I did my quality time with God.

Now here I sit, back at step 1 where picking up the Bible to read for even five minutes is a chore again. I'm frustrated with myself for having fallen into the trap that so easily offers an excuse. Time. It's something I hate and yet, I can do nothing for the time that has passed. Here on out, I can only change the here and now, hoping for a brighter future.

I was perusing friend's pages on Facebook and came across an old friend's page. For kicks and giggles, I decided to check out his tumblr (the more I search the web, the more I think I need a tumblr). Three entries long, I found myself captivated by the depth with which he wrote. The more I read, the more I felt like I understood exactly where he was coming from. He was merely putting it into words that I had never thought to formulate.

And then, somewhere around his third entry, I felt a soft nudge on my heart.

I was being confronted in a point-blank manner to accept that I cannot do anything to change the world, let alone the people that inhabit it. There was a necessary acceptance of the fact that my desire to change the world was actually getting in my way. I had to let God change people, not think that I could change people.

For about a year now, I've had this crazy notion floating around in my head that what I was writing were my books. And then at some point, I thought that wasn't right, and instead they were God's books. But I so easily slip back into the notion that somehow, I have come up with this vast insanity that in some way, might resemble a reasonable plot for a story.

How easily I fall.

I tend to get this absurd thought in my head that, "I'm good enough for now". Not that I don't need to grow. No, it's worse than that. It's more that I think that with my age, with my spiritual maturity, I am on a good foundation in comparison to other believers my age. I place myself above others, thinking that I'm somehow on a better foundation than they are.

I negate my own thinking just by thinking it. Pride riddles away at that foundation and before I know it, I'm back on the cold ground while the other 'lesser' individuals I thought myself so much better than are higher up, looking down at me saying, "What are you doing down there?"

All I can reply is, "I don't know."

Am I willing to be nothing? Honestly? No. I never have been. It's why it grates so harshly against me. I desire to be noticed, to be seen. Reality always shows me the opposite, but I still keep kicking my feet and hammering the ground with my arms in an attempt that someone might ask what's wrong. Worse than my impromptu temper tantrums are the times when I do something and instantly wish to be recognized for it.

How prideful am I?

All of these years I thought "I've got that whole pride thing down. I'm perfectly fine being the last one there, last one picked, least among the best, etc., etc., etc." It's merely through this new lens that I suddenly realize that pride is actually a rather large demon of mine. I just always thought that I was better than that.

I claim that I'm not here for me, I'm here on Earth for God. I avoid temptation as best I can, I say my prayers every day, etc. But somewhere inside of me, I still harbor those good things I do and stock them up. As if God is tallying me against others. Why do I care about the tally? Why do I care how much I may or may not have done?

For the past few months, I've thought that either God is being silent, or I'm not listening properly. I think that tonight (or this morning. I guess it's morning), I've realized I probably wasn't listening properly.

We all lose our way sometimes. I just need to learn to accept those stumbles as opportunities to learn how to make myself a better individual and a better Child of God.

Future World

Today I got the opportunity to speak with the writer Jeffrey Overstreet in my Writing About Film class. If you don't know anything about him, here's quick snippit: he's written a fantasy book series called Auralia's Colors and is well known within the film world as a Christian film critic. His book Through a Screen Darkly is essentially my textbook for class. It's been really intriguing to see him comment on movies from a Christian viewpoint, but not to the extreme conservative that most Christians tend to 'review' movies.

As he spoke about his film reviews or answered my questions about book writing, I felt within me the same feeling of 'home' as I did when I was at the Writer's Conference last summer. Talking with other authors, agents and editors and sharing experiences and discussing books is something I've missed. I didn't realize it until this morning, but I have missed that world. That future world I hope and pray I will one day belong to.

One of the questions I had asked Mr. Overstreet (it sounds so formal, but I don't feel right calling him "Jeff"), was how hard it was for him to construct his fantasy book series. It's something I've been struggling with personally - trying to create the world I'm writing about, yet feeling as though I'm missing something vital that most authors seem to understand. I've found that I feel inadequate at times to write the book series I'm writing. As though I'm under-qualified for such a task.

However Mr. Overstreet's response helped to put me at ease. He stated that the first draft of his novel was written in 1996, but it wasn't published until 2006. 10 years. Is that normal? 10 years seems to the be the magic time limit. He continued to say that he had started out with a 70 page short story, and it progressed into a 4 book long series. That change had occurred through he and his friends asking questions about the characters, the plot, the setting, etc.

So I'm not on the wrong path?

It always seems as though I am. From my limited perspective, it looks as though I'm wandering around, waiting for something to occur. Some magic bolt of lightning to strike my brain to change everything. But what if there is no bolt of lightning required? What if I merely need to keep plodding along until something within the story changes?

I see a major difference between my experience and Mr. Overstreet's. He had friends asking questions. Inversely, I stand alone. My brother occasionally will approach me with a question or a comment, but those times are few and far between. And now that he's down in Tennessee for the summer, well...that means that the island I stand on is drifting farther away from other people.

Perhaps it's my own doing. Perhaps it's not. Maybe I just need to be patient. For some reason, I always think that I've got patience down to an art. Silly me. Patience is something that I can do well in some instances. But when it comes to my books, I find that I am so impatient I may as well be throwing a tempter tantrum at God. Yet He stills waits for me to calm down and then tells me that everything's going to be okay.

I'm going to be okay.

Oh, and if anyone out there happens to know of a job I can have over the summer, I would greatly appreciate it. Apparently I'm inept at having one. I know God provides and all, but with my dad breathing down my neck about a job, it seems as though I might get killed if I don't find something.

Patience and trust. Oh how often I stumble.

For now, here's a pretty picture I found here: http://allthekngshorses.deviantart.com/favourites/43269878#/d27sjjj

EDIT*

Jeffrey Overstreet is one of my favorite people now. Why? Because he finds problems in Harry Potter that really SHOULD NOT be ignored. Children should not do things counter to what they're told (aka, break rules), and then be praised for it. I was so happy when he said that this morning.

The Wardrobe

My nephew is turning one year old in two weeks - holy wow. I don't know where the past year has gone! It feels like it was such a long time ago that my mom called me at six am to explain that I had to remember the name of the hospital my brother and sister-in-law were going to be having their baby because she couldn't remember.

So for the past month or so I've been wracking my brain trying to come up with an idea for my nephew's birthday present. I went through the usual: movies, music, books, toys, clothes, etc. And then I went shopping on Amazon.com (the only place I like to shop. Today I went out with my sisters to run some errands and nearly killed myself from the insanity that was found in parking lots and stores. It's times like those where I miss the middle of nowhere), anyway, upon shopping online, I decided to look for various versions of The Chronicles of Narnia for collecting. As I was looking through the available versions, I saw a pop-up book.

I'm uber excited.

I feel like I need another Narnia fan in the household. When I mentioned that, my sister freaked out and said, "I'm a Narnia fan! I just...haven't finished reading the books." I wanted to go reread the series solely because of her confession. She'll probably watch all of the movies long before she reads the books.

So I will attempt to steer my nephew toward them. He'll probably lose interest in them as he grows up - as that seems to be the normal turn of events for most people. I'm an anomaly.

It makes me happy that I've got another person to share the month of June with in the family! For the longest time it was just me out there all by my lonesome. Mallory is really close to my birthday too, but she's a July birthday. We tended to do things together anyway - like when we went to Red Robin and got free sandwiches for our birthdays :)

So two weeks or so after my nephew's birthday I'll be turning 23. Oh gosh. That feels weird. Before I know it I'll be in my thirties. And in two years my brain matures. That's a scary thought.

I've found myself frustrated lately at my lack of work ethic when it comes to working on my books. The crazy thing is, I'll get in a car and drive for a few hours (I've been driving to Williamsport to help my brother and sister-in-law with move in stuff), and get all of these great images flying around in my head that I want to expand on. Then I get out of the car and start working on something entirely different. By the time I get to a computer, the images are gone and the drive to write has left me.

I've been going through my room since I have to move back into it next weekend and came across all of the notes, scraps, and previous copies of my first book. It all fits into a copy box, and as I set it aside against the wall, I thought, "If I don't do this soon, I'll never finish it."

That thought scared me. Mostly because that's probably true.

So am I supposed to dive into it and let it consume me? Or does God want me elsewhere? Should my attention be on my books, or somewhere else? I feel no pull in any direction, which is probably my own fault.

I get so easily distracted. Maybe I should learn to turn off the internet. Seeing as that's where most of my distractions originate from.

In other news, this summer is packed. If it's up to me, this is how it will look: my nephew's birthday, going up to Crogan, NY for my friend Dana & my birthday (we share the same day), a week down at Ocean City, my best friend Shelly's wedding, work for a month straight, head back to Houghton for my final year.

Things will finally slow down in August. And that's if I'm given the opportunity to do everything I want to do. Right now I'm struggling to find a job for the summer. My usual job seems impossible to reach regarding when I'll be available to work. And on top of that, they probably won't be too keen on giving me a lot of time off.

*Sigh* It'll be okay. I just need to trust that God's going to lead me where I need to go. And hope that where he leads me is where money is - because otherwise, my father will have my hide.

"Not all who wander are lost." - J.R.R. Tolkien

2011 Here we Come

Oh boy, has 2010 already passed? Are we already a year closer to the end of the world in 2012? Does anyone actually truly believe that when 2012 hits the world will end? Or does everyone see this as a farce?

I've been looking for internships for the summer. While I've found quite a few that are incredibly promising, I find myself timid. I tell myself it's because most of these internships (if not all of them) are located in big cities - mostly in New York City. If I did land these internships, I would have to look into housing for a few months and have to actually live in these concrete worlds.

But is that an excuse?

I think I've allowed it to become one. I'm afraid of taking an internship, I think, because I think 'internship' and automatically I feel like I need to go buy new clothes that are more professional looking - skirts, dresses and poofy, frilly blouses. All things that make me cringe at the thought of wearing. In dresses I find myself feeling uncomfortable and restricted. In skirts, I feel like I'm exposed. In blouses, I feel like a clown wearing a suit that's supposed to inflate, but instead it just hangs on my body, the fabric worn out and tired - even if it is brand new.

Why does this terrify me? Because if that is the protocol of what I should be wearing to look professional, then I will be uncomfortable (granted, after months of wearing it, I might actually get used to it and deal with it), and with being physically uncomfortable, it'll make me even more likely to feel emotionally and spiritually uncomfortable.

One day, I might be taking a book to one of these houses, and as a writer, it's not quite as big a problem to look good - I mean, I'm sure it helps a lot, but at the same time, if you are caught on a bad hair day and you've already met these big corporation people, then it's not that big of a deal - it's a bad hair day. If you look like a beehive is sitting on your head and it's the first encounter...I'm sure I'd be sent to the 'discard' pile immediately.

I keep trying to remind myself that God will put me where He needs me and when He needs me. So, I work away and try to plot out an outline of what I have planned, but keep myself open to His calling and His plans for me.

Which is so much easier said than done.

Today I got the sudden inspiration to write my antagonist's life before he went bad. I know it's necessary, but I like him now. I felt nothing when I wrote about him getting hurt or something, but now I actually feel a connection with the character. Will this make it harder for me to justify hurting him? Or will I still be able to let the gunshot hit him in the arm and cause profuse bleeding?

I feel as though this entry was a long winded, not connected, rant about nothing.

Maybe it has something to do with recently watching Titan A.E. and laughing profusely at the soundtrack (or lack thereof). I find myself suddenly wanting to watch a good movie - like Inception. Perhaps in the next few days.

This weekend we've got more wedding planning in Jamestown - which promises to be fun and relaxing now that Shelly's found a place she likes for her reception.

Good night cyber space.

Resolutions: Write a skeleton draft of book two, grow closer with God, read more of the Bible, give more, ask for less.