I Obviously Don't Write Enough

I used to. Something must have happened to make this 'writing' habit I had disappear. Could it be work perhaps?
It seems the most likely culprit.
I was standing at work - once again bored - and noticed how I dwell on things. I never really have considered myself a shy person, but I suppose I am. After seeing my coworkers and interacting with them over the past 11 months, I've discovered that I seem to have contracted a fear of really interacting with people. I guess it would have something to do with all of my close friends leaving when school time came around and me staying home with no one to talk to or hang out with.
I've been thinking about that a lot lately. Why I seem to get...nervous...around others. What's the point? It's like that's the first thing that pops into my head - why bother?
But I want to bother. I want to be okay with walking up to a coworker and saying, "Wanna go grab a bite to eat after work and hang out?" But for some reason my mind instantly rejects that notion - as if it were completely absurd.
It isn't absurd, is it? To crave interaction and knowing another human being? To want to delve past the every day monotony we've found ourselves in and find something beyond a body with a few sarcastic comments along the way?
As I stand around and watch my coworkers walk up to one another and just begin to laugh and instantly strike up a conversation with no timidness to it, I can't help but envy them. They're friends and for some reason...
It's like just about everything is right, but a few cogs are missing the slots. Like there's always something going to be missing for me, personally.
I guess I am just shy. I don't know where it came from, really. It seems to just have manifested itself recently and decided that it was time for me to worry about whether others liked me or not. For all I know, it may have something to do with a constant fear of rejection.
...
Now we're getting somewhere.


I really need to get out more.