A Day In The Life

I'm tired of always being the 'younger' person everywhere I go. It makes me feel as if I'm insignificant and unnecessary in conversations and things of the like. Which frustrates me. That; and being sick doesn't help with the current predicaments I find myself in.

Being 19 is awkward, but I know that turning 20 will only be so much more so; I won't be old enough to drink but, at the same time, I'll no longer be considered a 'teenager'. That label will leave me forever, never to return. It's almost like a cheesy, unimportant right of passage. The one everyone overlooks. The big date is when someone turns 21, that's when the said person has the ability and responsibility to drink alcohol legally.

That raises another question; why does it matter so much? I suppose a good deal of it goes towards our view as Americans, that we're already spoiled rotten and that the privilege to consume alcohol is, for some people, not viewed as such. It's more of a recreational activity more than anything. Which is almost disgusting. I pass bars all the time on the way to work and I always wonder if people really do spend a good deal of their time there, like Norm from "Cheers".

There are times where I wonder why I think the way I do. Just the other night one of my coworkers asked what I meant by me saying that my brain is wired completely opposite of everyone else's. What I mean by that is that I feel as if I'm one of the few people left on this planet (at the very least, within this country) with the capacity to care about other people. It's not that I see cruelty everywhere I turn, but I do see a lot of inconsideration and just non-caring by people every day. And it's all because they want someone else to hold their hand and do everything for them. Basic functions that people should be able to handle on a day to day basis it seems cannot be completed because they just plain don't want to perform the said application. It's downright disturbing that we as a nation have become that lazy.

And now for something completely different: I wish I could do more. I have met some people over the past five months that I really do care about more than I do the average Joe walking into the store, but they seem so lost and alone. I want to help them, but options are never presented - what's worse is they're well older than me. So me, a mere "teenager" can do so little (or so it seems) to help a struggling adult. There are thirty-something year old guys working at Staples and it's basically a dead end job for them. I hope and pray that this place I'm at is merely a part time employment; that I won't still be around cashiering ungrateful people five years from now. I hope that I'll move on to bigger and better things, but that hope can only provide me with so much. I suppose that ambition and drive will take me beyond hope will.

It's so cold. And it refuses to snow. Thus, we're left with nothing but a gray sky to welcome our day with bitter cold weather.