Battle Writing, Part II

So I'm onto the major battle of my fourth book (woohoo!). Once again, I find myself having made my life difficult. Sometimes I wonder if I've done all of this solely because I want to make myself work harder than might be necessary. Then at other times I assume that I'm actually smart and this is merely something random that happens along the way.

Anyway, so I'm working on, really, the only battle of the fourth book. It might be only one battle, but it'll encompass at least four chapters (possibly more upon revision). So I'm writing it and I'm discovering things along the way, which I'm always open to. Especially because my ability to understand the time of events has always been so clumped that pretty well everything from book 2 on I just said, "And then stuff happens!" So I'm glad for the chance to actually get it all figured out. Or at least, kind of figured out. But a part of me doesn't want to finish this battle.

Have you ever been afraid of the dark?

I mean, most kids are afraid of darkness at some point. Then one day we grow up and say, "Monsters aren't real," and get over our 'irrational' fear of the dark and nighttime. That's great. I'm not afraid of the dark to a degree. If I haven't seen a scary movie trailer or been dabbling in sin recently, then darkness is pretty much harmless to me.

Now how about the darkness within yourself?

I'm terrified of that. Absolutely terrified. I know once the battle is over, I'm going to have to delve into the darker sides of my brain to write the scenes necessary for the story. I know this is coming. I even have a playlist on my iPod all ready to go. I don't want to listen to the music though. I don't want to write those scenes. I don't want to get into my antagonist's head right now. Sometimes he's fun to write, but I know he won't be fun to write in these upcoming scenes.

For me, personally, he poses such a temptation to just say, "Well, I have to write it for the character," and easily can then find myself slipping into the temptation to sin. And my biggest stumbling block is my own mind. It's no one else's doing but my own when I stumble and fall into sin, because the biggest sins I struggle with are those dealing almost entirely with the mind.

Heh, and here I thought writing would be a good thing.

So I'm afraid of the darkness within my own being. The darkness within my own mind. But I know I need to get past that and get to the end of the book. I can't just sit back and say, "I'm not ready to do that yet," forever. Eventually I need to write it. At least, I need to if I ever want to finish this series. Which, naturally I do.

Such a strange conundrum this is. Maybe when I get to that point in the story, if I pray hard enough and be sincere enough, this won't be as detrimental to me as I fear it will be. At least, that's my hope.

For those who are interested, here's a picture of what all I have open on my computer for this battle scene:

Currently writing: Unseen
Currently Reading: On Becoming a Novelist by John Gardner
Currently Listening to: "503" from the Angels and Demons soundtrack

Battle Writing

Kids, if anyone ever tells you that writing a book is easy. Smack them.
Especially if the book your writing is part of a series and even more so if you're placing it within a fantasy world of your own making. Also, learn from my mistakes: don't write such a story and then make up your own races and then on top of that create 30+ characters to live within that world that you know you'll be interacting with on more than just a 1 page basis.
What brings this on? I'm into my third book, probably a little over half-way done writing it, and I'm in a battle scene. Normally these are really fun for me. Battle scenes are where most of the images in my head come from. But this one is really difficult, and I kind of always knew it would be, I just never wanted to admit it.
I've got around 25 of the 30+ characters I've created in this battle, and that's what's making it so difficult. See?

That's everything that I have open on my computer as I write a battle scene for this current situation. Most of what's open right now are word documents. I even created a whole word document that analyzes where my characters are and has a table to allow me the ability to strike through everyone that we've seen so far in the battle. You see, the problem with only mentioning two of them throughout the whole ordeal makes it sound like it was only two people involved in the battle. That doesn't make it believable when you've got over 20 characters running around in said fight.
Writing is a task that takes hours of blood, sweat and tears. Anyone who tells you it's an easy process has never actually attempted it or is in denial. Even more so when you take into account the kind of world we live in today.
I could, if I wanted to, self-publish my book right now. I won't, because there's a lot left to edit before I even pursue publishing. But because anyone who ever sits down and decides to open a word document and write a 100 page story can post their book online and sell it for whatever they want. Because of that, we run the risk of people uploading crap that is still on its first draft sitting out on the internet for unknowing buyers to fill their libraries with.
There's a very real risk for lots and lots of bad writing to get out into the world. Now, in theory, only the good stuff will become popular. But that just isn't the case anymore. If enough hype is brought up around a series (or even one book), it can mean little to nothing if the story is well constructed or the writer in question can spell or properly construct a sentence.
Anyway, I'm going to go back to writing for a smigin before I call it a night/morning. I've got my last day of classes tomorrow and I need to be somewhat coherent. I do have a presentation in my Ceramics class first thing in the morning.
Currently Writing: End Game: Trinity (Chapter Eighteen)
Currently Reading: The Time Traveler's Wife
Currently Listening to: "Enigmatic Soul" by Two Steps From Hell