To believe that the conference is next week is mind boggling to me. Is it already that time? Have we already approached mid August? Okay, so technically, no, we haven't, but I feel as though we have! Mostly due to the fact that this next week will probably fly by.
I stand currently on a draft number 4 of my novel, and I feel comfortable with it. I hope, pray and believe that this is what God wants from me, and that He will take this conference and mold it to His will, and not my own.
I just wish that I had more time.
I'm being perfectly honest. I feel exhausted, and I have work in ten hours (so I've got some time to sleep), but regardless, I've been running on far too little sleep, and at this precise moment, all I want to do is go ahead and write, edit, and revise. I don't want to go to Staples and wander about a building for eight hours, I want to pursue my book, I want to find God in it. I want to make sure that it's what He needs it to be, not what I want it to be. And it's hard to find the time - or rather make the time - to edit and revise the current draft I have. I'm proud of myself for reaching the landmarks that I have, and I feel accomplished, I would just love it if I could spend more time in it.
Technically, from drafts 3 to 4, there aren't many changes. A glossary, a few small edits here and there where grammatical errors were appearing and problems with my choice of description (which sucks by the way), and a prologue and minor chapter that will probably be axed because they really aren't necessary, I just felt they needed to be there. So for all I know, an editor or agent will look at them and say, "Why are these here?"
"Because I like them?" I don't know. I'm making this up as I go along. I'm only twenty-two after all.
Regardless of my age, however, I feel a cross between content and on edge. I know that the feeling of apprehension and the never ending nerves are things I need to turn to God for, because He'll take care of me, and I'm working on getting that to constantly be the case, not merely when I acknowledge that it is the case.
*Sigh* It's been a while since writing, and I felt I wanted to write some about where I was, if only for my own benefit. But as it is quarter after 1 in the morning, I should get to bed so as I'm not completely exhausted at work tomorrow...today...whatever.
Here's to God's grace and His plans to me. Let's see where He's leading :)
