Okay, okay, okay, so Nancy had some of her friends over and I laughed a bit. But it just made me feel lonely. I mean, I don't really have any friends anymore. It's rather pathetic really. I have acquaintances, yes, but no one that's like, ecstatic to see me and hang out with me. In fact, it seems to be that everyone I knew from high school, (with the exception of maybe, four people), has been perfectly fine blatantly ignoring me.
Yeah, about that random emo-depressive paragraph...sorry.
In other news, I, regretfully, am staying home for another semester. Then, God willing, I'll be able to transfer somewhere I actually want to be...maybe acquire a social life in the process.
Yeah, my life is rather dull. Sorry about that.
Maybe the next entry will be a bit more...entertaining? I don't know. I'm in a weird mood. And felt compelled to write. 'Cause that makes sense.
I really, truly, deeply, hate writers block. Why my mind comes alive at nightfall is beyond me. Curses.
OKAY! Enough. The next segment shall be how my mind set has been for the past couple of months and the countless hours and days and weeks I've been wanting to off myself from massive amounts of stress from working at Staples.
Example number one: "If I just keep working, maybe they'll give me a raise. I could use a raise. I could use more money. If I just save a bit more, stay at home and just do nothing and hope everyone I know is having fun, that'll make me feel a bit better knowing that they're having fun. That makes sense right? Yeah, it's not like I have to be with everyone forever...or all the time...yeah. It's fine. I'll just watch some TV."
Example number two: "Why am I bothering? Regardless, I'm still going to wind up being like, a trillion dollars in debt after school. I work my tail off, and still have to pay for my stupid car, and my stupid bills, and my stupid phone that no one calls me on. Why am I caring so much?"
Example number three: "AGH. What's the point? No one notices that I care, no one notices that I pray for them every night before I close my eyes to rest for the night. Why, oh why, must I harbor such unnecessary care for others?"
Example number four: "No one sees what I see. Why can't this stupid thing come together right?? Why can't I get one simple little thing like an idea to form into a coherent sentence so that some complete stranger can understand my thought process with all of this? Why am I stuck? Is this what I'm supposed to be doing? Should I be devoting so much time and energy to it? Is it worth it?"
Example number five: "My brain hurts."
This has been a moment in the mindset of a psychopath. Join us next week where we discuss my inability to hold a relatively close relationship with anyone without destroying it for no reason whatsoever other than to cause unrelenting pain and feelings of worthlessness.
If anyone actually read this, I'll give you a cookie the size of your head.
