Rejected

If there's one thing you learn to handle well as a writer, it's rejection.

Although that can be said for most jobs in the creative world. Acting, directing, writing, sculpting, drawing, etc. all come with a requirement that whoever the creator is had better be prepared to get a million "no"s. I've heard back from two agents and they've both told me that my book wasn't a good fit for them. Which baffles me, because based on their profiles it should have been.

This is an area of the writing life that can be incredibly disheartening. Getting told over and over again that your world isn't meshing with someone can make you re-evaluate everything. That's where doubt begins to run its rampant storm in your mind. What if no one likes it? What if it isn't good enough? What if I never get someone to support me? What if, what if, what if.

What a horrible two word phrase.

Ever notice how 'what ifs' always steer toward the negative? Why can't we say, "What if the book is so awesome that it gets a fanbase of its own and I can't keep up with them all?" Well, I know why we can't say those things. Those sorts of things can be considered "arrogant" and "pompous". I like to think that "what ifs" are the natural progression to keep our egos in check. For some people though, the 'what ifs' are so overwhelmingly frequent that they can't even begin to look on the bright side.

I know everyone hears it, but take it seriously: take rejection with a grain of salt (where did that phrase even come from?). Seriously. You're gonna hear it a lot. Regardless of your field, you will hear it. Rejection is a part of life and sadly, it's gonna be huge part of your book's life too. One day there will be a 'yes', and when that day comes, it won't matter how many 'nos' you got. 'Cause all it takes is one 'yes'.

Currently Editing: Unity
Currently Listening to: "Galaxies" by Owl City

Turning 25 Eh?

This is gonna be a good bit of reminiscing.

When I was eighteen and had just begun to formulate the general idea of what the End Game series would become, I remember thinking through what I hoped to do by the time I turned thirty. I had just read Eragon by Christopher Paolini and, though I felt a good chunk of his book was a rehashing of Tolkien, I still felt like somehow I too could be empowered to write a book and become published before I was thirty. In fact, I had this little daydream that was all about how I would become a published author before I turned twenty-five. I turn twenty-five on Friday.

Obviously, that little daydream didn't come true.

Although I don't feel like I'm approaching my birthday. I know I'm approaching a celebration because I'm going to New York state to spend three days with a good chunk of my college friends. But do I feel like a doomsday-esque mile marker is on the horizon? Nope. Can't say that I do.

At the same time, I feel as though I've let myself down. I had such great aspirations when I was nineteen and wrote the first (awful), draft of Genesis. I thought I'd at least have the first book published by this point and that there would be great anticipation for the following books. Now, reality has a way of laying things out differently then we think is best. I've found that these instances are the times when I need to be content with what's happening because in the end, whatever is around the corner is better than what I originally had planned.

Roughly every week (I'm gonna be taking this week off 'cause I'm getting myself ready for my dog and will be spending the latter half of the week in New York state), I've been sending 2-3 queries out to agents. Naturally, I haven't heard back from any of them. It makes me wonder if perhaps I've done something faulty in the process of sending the query. But getting caught in the "what ifs" never helps me in the slightest. So I try to stop myself as quickly as possible to keep from wandering down that rabbit hole.

So I'm gonna embrace the age of twenty-five. It's just another day. Just another year I happened to experience. It was a wild year, that's for sure. But I'm grateful for all that it's offered. The ups and the downs. 'Cause all along the way I've been learning.

Adventure well everyone! This'll probably be the only post I do. Especially come Wednesday. I'm rather excited for the weekend.

Currently Editing: Unity

Currently Listening to: "When Can I See You Again?" by Owl City

I'M GETTING A DOG

Oh my gosh, I'm getting a dog!

I'm so excited I can't even properly express it! So many images are coming to mind of what me and my pal are gonna be doing! Our walks and road trips and puppy therapy times at work (yeah, I plan on like once a week, taking him up to work and giving my coworkers a bit of puppy therapy). I think the thing I'm looking forward to most is curling up with him at night and playing fetch and going adventuring. I'm just so stinking excited.

I can't stop smiling.

I'm gonna go look at what toys I'm gonna buy him.

Currently Editing: Unity
Currently Reading: Brisinger by Christopher Paolini
Currently Listening to: "When Can I See You Again?" by Owl City

Seriously?

We all have countless friends like this on Facebook and/or Twitter. They take what have been termed "selfies" on a daily basis and then post said picture to their profiles. This isn't that big of a deal. Except for the fact that I'm seeing more and more pictures of young women showing off their cleavage. It's beginning to disgust me.

These are the same sort of girls that will then turn around and start posting about how they want a man's respect or they don't know why so much drama always happens around them or how tired they are of the games or, my personal favorite, that they're smart beautiful women that deserve to be treated right.

This goes back to a deep seeded frustration I have with some women. I know I wrote about this a while back (to be honest, I couldn't find the post. It's buried in here somewhere), where some "famous" person was on one of those late night shows. First off, she walks onto the stage wearing this skin tight, low cut, barely covering her butt dress. As she struggles to sit down without flashing the entire audience, the host asks if she needs help. About a minute later as she's answering one of his questions, she has the audacity to say to him, "Um, my eyes are up here."

The audience laughs as he looks around and he flounders for an answer. 'Cause he's the bad guy.

Seriously?! The audience finds this entertaining? A woman is practically shoving her body in the public's face and then demeans a man when he stares? What does she expect? Oh, she's expecting to be respected. 'Cause that's how respectable people dress.

Women, please stop kidding yourselves. We dress our best when we feel good about ourselves. When we want attention, we put on the clothes that we know accentuate our best features. All women do this. Stop pretending like you aren't doing it. You are. And please, if you're someone who thinks wearing next to no clothing is perfectly acceptable, then expect to get stares and don't be a witch with a capital b and call them all pigs. If you're gonna act like a billboard, you shouldn't expect to be treated like a selectively handed out flyer.

Rant is over.

I'm playing a waiting game on two fronts. 1) agents. 2) dog adoption agency. Yes, I'm actively pursuing getting a dog. I couldn't get a Mustang, so I'm going with my second bucket-list item.

Currently Editing: Unity
Currently Reading: Brisinger by Christopher Paolini
Currently listening to: the Man of Steel soundtrack

A Twinge of Regret

As life spirals around me in this sort of tornado type feeling, I find myself looking back over the past year. It's been a year since I graduated from college. Almost immediately after that momentous day, I was at Staples being rehired. Two days after being reintegrated into the system, I was working.

My sister just graduated from college a few weeks ago. She's currently out at Millbrook - a theater near Lehigh University - for the summer working as an actress and a set builder. After that, she'll be hopping onto a plane and living in Ireland for at least a year as she gets her masters in theater. Though we aren't very similar in our personalities, we seem to do the same sort of things with our lives. It seems as though we march on forward and wind up tumbling down hills into situations we originally didn't anticipate being in.

About a week ago, the two of us were chatting. I think I was sitting in the middle of her floor as she packed for Millbrook. At one point I said to her, "Y'know something I've found I regret? Not taking time off between graduating and working."

"Yeah, but you've got money now. That's a good thing."

Sure, I've got a buffer of funds for the "just in case something explodes" incidences. And that is nice. I really can't deny that I feel a lot more secure knowing that I have some buffer room financially. I could potentially lose my job and not have the world crash around me. This is definitely a good thing.

But at the same time, I feel like I jipped myself a little.

I think about all the traveling I would like to do. All the places I want to go. Y'know something I'd love to do? Take a cross-country roadtrip with a friend. Just travel and see and do for a while. Like two months or something. For a brief time, abandon what I know and adventure. Y'know something else I'd love to do? Get on a plane again and go somewhere. Y'know something else I'd love to do? Spend a week at a friend's house and see all those places they've always told me about. Stay up till three in the morning talking about random things that have no point.

So really, I wish I had given myself time to travel.

This may just be me, but I think that college kids should take a month off after they graduate. Granted, that's assuming they have a job they can walk into. I was lucky enough to have kept a good reputation at my old workplace and was even more fortunate to have a job practically waiting for me when I walked in the door. Not everyone has such opportunities. But I think that there's something to be said for relaxing and destressing. I'm not saying I necessarily needed to destress. I did have the easiest last semester of college ever.

But I also know a lot of friends that were on the verge of mental breakdowns at the end of their college career. There's something to be said for mental health. And I don't know if we stress enough how important it is to relax your brain for a time. And not just by sitting in front of the TV. But by doing something you've always wanted to do.

Like I said, maybe that's just me.

Adventure well warriors! Take today and do something you've always wanted to do. Be a little spontaneous. There's nothing wrong with making life an epic journey one small story at a time.

Currently Editing: Unity

Currently Reading: Brisinger by Christopher Paolini

Currently Listening to: "Into the West" by Annie Lenox