Judgment

So, Google put up a doodle of a dictator and not anything related (even a bunny?) to Easter. Naturally, this bothered me and my family. I have friends who have officially boycotted Google - uninstalled Chrome, changed their search to Bing, deactivated their gmail accounts.

I was on Twitter and was thinking through how I wanted to handle this situation. Sure, I was angry that the celebration that I hold very dear to my heart was overridden by a mere person, but then I sat back and took a few deep breaths.

Who am I to go off the handle about this?

Yes, this bothers me. Yes, I am disappointed in Google. Yes, I am a little offended. But I'm not going to condemn the people behind Google for this choice. I don't think their choice was a good one, but I'm also not going to start spewing hate at them. Not only would it accomplish squat, it would do nothing but show how judgmental Christians can be.

I can't judge the people behind this choice. The only thing I can do is love them in spite of their choice. Let's face it. At the end of the day, Jesus still died for those people too. Like I said, I'm not proud of Google, but I'm not going to condemn those responsible for that decision - I have no power to do that. There's only one Judge, and He's the one who sees it all. He knows the state of everyone on the planet. I do not. So who am I to determine the "judgement" ('cause remember, Google is a huge corporation. We screaming banshees of the internet are just a pile of noise they can choose to ignore), of someone(s) actions?

That's right, I'm no one. Just a fellow sinner trying to display God's love and compassion and Jesus' sacrifice. Remember fellow banshees, Jesus came to love the sinners and lead them to his Father's arms, not to pat the backs of anyone who can point and say, "You sin!"

So happy Easter all you adventurers out there. The real reason behind this holiday is to remember that we as Christians serve a living God, not one still lying in a hole somewhere rotting. The chocolate bunnies are just a bonus.

Currently Writing: Zero Point One outline
Currently listening to: "Glorious Day" by Casting Crowns

Old Tech

I like collecting old cameras. I've got a few at the moment and am constantly on the lookout for anything that looks antique and different.

The one on the left is actually an old film camera. The middle one is an old school Kodak and then the Pentax is what I used for my dark room photography class. Whether the two on the left work or not, I love having them, even if all they do is sit on a shelf and occasionally I take them off and play with them. Of course by "play with" I mean fiddle with, open a few times, take a couple pictures of, and then ultimately put them back on the shelf.

Though, if I had the ability to develop the film myself, "play with" would mean "run amuck and take lots of random pictures just to see how they turn out". Ever since my dad opened the film camera I've wanted to find the film and record something. I think it'd be awesome!

Anything antique immediately grabs my attention. I couldn't say why, I just get fascinated by how things used to look and operate before now. Especially with things like cameras. Computers have just gotten less clunky and cars have just gotten strange (look at the Kia Soul for crying out loud. It's a box. An ugly box that needs hamsters to advertise). Cameras though have gone through a plethora of changes over the years. With their accordion folding lenses to SLRs to point-and-shoot...the designs have been extraordinarily different as time has gone on.

Which is why I like collecting them. The other day I found a bunch of cameras (including an old Polaroid to boot!), in a silent auction. I probably won't win, but it was awesome to just stand there and look at them all. When I put in the bid, my brother asked me what I would pay and I said to him, "Well, you gotta remember, all I'm gonna do is have them sit on a shelf."

This hobby may wind up being nothing more than an expensive way of decorating.

Happy adventures everyone! In PA we're gonna be in the fifties for the rest of the week. You know what that means - archery time. My arms are gonna kill after this week!

Currently Writing: Zero Point One outline
Currently Listening to: "Hear You Me" by Michael Henry and Justin Robinett

Ultimately, Everything Comes Back To One Thing

I got a new laptop. I named it Aliquis (yes, I name my technology), after a character in the End Game series 'cause its colors match that character. Then I got a wireless mouse. Normally I don't name those, but when I found the white & red one, I knew I had to get it, simply 'cause it reminded me of Blaze.

So, everything comes back to my books. Always.

Though I haven't done much writing as of late (eesh. April is gonna be a tricky month to roll into), I still can't fully detach my brain from my characters and their stories. Granted, I haven't devoted quite as much time to them as I have in the past, but in the end, they're still a huge part of me. As evidenced by names for technology and choices of wireless mice. (Speaking of mice, check out this shirt I want on Woot.)

I imagine that this is how most writers are. In spite of whatever efforts we may make - whether conscious or otherwise - to distance ourselves from a story, we inevitably wind up right back in the thick of it. Our stories and characters become as real to us as reality is to everyone else. I like to think that's why so many writers have trouble focusing. We're a little busy getting lost in a world that, for the moment, only we see.

It'll be fun when the rest of the world sees that world too.

I finished my query and am waiting on feedback from some friends. Then I'm editing it again and letting my family tear it apart. Then I'm editing it again and letting some coworkers look at it. Then I'm sending it off to agents. For all I know, I'll have an editor by summer. Wouldn't that be strangely awesome.

By the way, Camp Nano is only nine days away. NINE DAYS. WHAT.

Adventure well everyone! We have near fifty degree weather this weekend, so I anticipate some archery will be occurring at my house. I'm excited. I'm also gonna go old camera hunting at thrift stores tomorrow. I'll explain that in the next post.

Currently Writing: Zero Point One Outline
Currently Listening to: "Language" by Porter Robinson

Other Protagonist

I've always had this secondary protagonist with the End Game thread. He was one of the first characters that I had, and he's always been one that I've been drawn to. His personality seems rather expected - the one that everyone sort of falls into line with. The one that you want to win in case our main protagonist doesn't make it.

You count on this secondary protagonist to stick it through and you count on them to never really deviate from who they are. Sure, they'll make mistakes - at least you hope they do, 'cause otherwise they aren't very believable. But on the whole, you imagine they're who they are, and that's just the way that it is. At least, that's how I've always felt about this one character.

Then this past summer, my brother and I were driving to Ocean City, and we began talking about this character in particular. My brother, being my biggest supporter and main soundboard for all things End Game, delves into my characters and ensures that they're as real as possible. I appreciate this about my brother.

Well, we both decided that at some point, my character in question did something that really changed him. Neither of us knew what it might have been. It might not have even been a bad thing; it just really jarred my secondary protagonist to the point of - most likely - a major change in his personality. Then I purposefully stayed away from finding that out, 'cause I got this feeling that it was going to completely change my image of this character.

The stalling stopped last weekend when I finally said, "Alright, what did you do?" (Just so you non-writers out there know, when I suddenly ask these questions, I really sort of ask myself in the manner of, "Alright, what did this character do, and how bad was it?" I then start thinking and usually, I'll find one random image in my mind and start following it. Next thing I know, I've got a story brewing.)

Now here I am, unpacking my secondary protagonists' history and finding a lot of nitty-gritty. I'm not terribly shocked. I always knew there was something hiding behind him, I had just never tried to figure it out. I always liked him the way he was and I didn't want him to change. I wanted him to always be who he was. That's the thing about writing believable characters - they've gotta change. No matter how much we may like one specific point of who they are, we can't keep them that way. It's in their changes and in their crisis that we see "real" moments for very fictional characters.

So I'll keep unpacking and, hopefully, by April 1st, I'll have enough to start really writing this nitty-gritty story for ZPO.

Adventure well everyone. Here in PA we got a glimpse of spring last week. Yesterday it snowed and tomorrow it's supposed to snow again. Yeah, welcome to winter/spring in my neck of the woods. It's like an identity crisis every day.

Currently Writing: Zero Point One
Currently Listening to: "Here You Me" by Justin Robinett & Michael Henry

Cursed

Yesterday, one of my coworkers wound up venting to me out of the blue about some frustrations he was experiencing. I listened as best I could and offered advice when he asked for it, but on the whole, I just tried my best to be compassionate and loving. After a good twenty minutes of him nearly yelling at me because of how angry he was, he let out a deep breath and said, "Thank you. I feel better."

"Anytime," I told him.

Shaking his head, he said, "No, I mean it. You're one of the few people I know that I can just vent at and you listen and you care."

"I don't know how not to care," I said.

"How dare you be cursed with a caring heart," he said with a grin.

It's a phrase that I've mulled over for the past day. Interesting way to put it, I thought. But I know what he means. In today's world, it's so easy to get sucked into this "me-centric" society we find ourselves a part of. For many people, blinders are the only way they go through life - with this blatant disregard for everyone and everything around them. I can't imagine seeing the world that way. I can't imagine not caring about other people.

I guess a curse is a good way to put it though. I never see it as such, but I can totally understand how someone might want to call it that. I mean, I've made three cakes and a cheesecake in the past month for my coworkers - whether for birthdays or otherwise. When my parents have given me this look of, "Really? You're doing this again?", I've tried to brush it off. To me, it's a great way to show compassion. And I love baking. That definitely doesn't hurt. But as I sit back and remove my mentality from the picture, I must look absurd to some people.

Really? Four cakes in the span of a month? What's wrong with that person? Do they have any idea how much money that is? How much time that is?

Funny thing is, I do know how much money it is and I do understand how much time it takes. And those two things are so trivial and so fleeting that I could care less how much of both of those things I need to sacrifice. If it makes one of my friends or coworkers or even a random stranger happy, then whatever might have been given in the process is entirely and fully worth it. I'm not here for fame or money or power or glory. I'm here to show love. It's the only thing that comes naturally to me.

Random post for tonight. Once I get Word installed on my laptop, I'm gonna hammer out another chunk of ZPO and I'm sure I'll have a boatload of writing bits to talk about when that happens.

Only a few more weeks till Camp Nano. I'm freaking out!

Currently Writing: Zero Point One
Currently Listening to: "Sleep" by Polyphony and Stephen Layton